The problem with sms comunication

I am a very easily excitable person. And I do not play games. I like to be direct. I like to speak my mind and when I like a person, I will invite them to make plans with me. However, where I come from and where I live now, people are a little cold. I guess it is unexpected for someone who you barely know to be excited and not play around. You know, the flirting through messages. And I am not talking about romantic interactions. I am talking about just hanging out with someone you would like to be friends with.

We are too used to being won over. Too caught up in the messaging and word-play and too scared to say ''No'' when we are not interested. We would rather be polite or ghost than actually risking ''offending'' someone. It is a real problem these days. Not being able to say what you think. Not being able to say that you are not comfortable.

So, I write a lot. You might have noticed. That carries over to my messages. I like to elaborate to make sure that nothing is left unsaid and unmentioned. I like to make everything clear because messages are stingy sons of b**ches. You never know how to interpret them. And so the problem is born, we either read too much into the text or we miss very important details.

I get excited about things. When I make plans. I will not initiate conversation if I am not looking forward to seeing you. If I am not interested, I am not going to waste my time. Or yours. That is why I like to think I am a person that is easy to understand. I do not do bullshit. And I am not really into texting. One message is better than two. So I am sorry if I wrote a long paragraph for you.

I also always give an out to people I write to. ''If you would like.'' ''If you have time''. I only want to hang out if you are genuinely interested in doing it. I think we all agree. Wasting time doing something you do not like or with someone who you do not click with is too damn expensive. Time is life and life runs out.

I write this to let you know. I do not do small talk very well. Mainly because I see it as waste. I enjoy it, though, when I speak to my friends. When I am genuinely interested in what has happened to them. What kind of day they have had. When I will see them.

But if I just met you, I think asking about your day is kind of a mean pleasantry. It may be considered polite but the answer is not going to be interesting to you. We do not have a connection yet, no trust established yet. So if I will ask you if you are okay, you will most likely say ''yes'' even if it is not true. ''How are you'' is forcing you to either lie or, well, be indifferent.

I am talking about messages now. In real life, I would love to know about you. I will ask ''How have you been?'' and I would love to hear the answer. But what I want more, is to know more about you. If we like each other. If we can hang out. If we can be ourselves around each other. And I can not find out that through messages. Let's be honest here. Messages do not show you who the person really is.

So I will cut to the chase very early on. It might make you uncomfortable or pull the ground under your feet. But that is who I am. And that is what I think more of us should be. Open. Honest (without a stalking quality, though :D). Spending more time away from the screen and doing more with each other. Messages are for making appointments not living life in them.

I am sorry but not sorry. So I am sorry for all of these ''hellos'' unanswered. If you actually added something to it, a question or anything, I would have probably answered. I am sorry for all the flirting attempts met with cold, short answers because I am not interested and I told you once already but you persisted. I am sorry for saying ''no'' when you ask to be friends. We chatted and all that was in our conversation consisted of ''how are you's''.

It is hard to make friendships here as this is not real life, face to face. Still, I have friends here. And none of the lasting friendships started with ''hello, let's be friends''. They started with a chat on a mutual voice server. A love for someone's blog. Through a real connection, not through my ''pretty'' face.

I have said it before and I will again. My face might be pleasing to look at but my insides are unknown for you. I might be a stuck up b*tch!

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There are two thoughts in this post. Chatting on a server and doing something together. Two separate things that still fit in the same category. Two opposites. I love spending time with people in real life, I hate messaging. But I still will be excited if we are planning on hanging out.

I am not the kind of girl that will love to chat meaninglessly. I am not sorry about it as I do not lead people on. Still, many do not listen when I tell them that I am not interested. They think I will change my mind. Or better, they think I am playing games. I DO NOT PLAY. I have no time for wasting time.

Have the best day! Today, tomorrow, and forever.
Linda