I wrote this for anyone out who are currently in love but being held back by having different beliefs. This is also my insights about the fear that we have relating to religion and love. Also this might be another life insights that we all can learn something. It sounds rather like a jumbled rants but I promise, you will get something out of this.Not to mention if you disagree, agree, or has another perspective feel free to write your opinion and thoughts.

Most of us are attracted to someone physically for the first time.Although physical attraction is very subjective that is the first stage for someone to make an approach. And this shows, Religion is one of the least consideration when we first decided to talk to someone.

Then, next stage of an early relationship, begin by talking with a prospective partner in order to know them better; inside and out. After we know them at least 50% of their hobby, passion, motivation, and interest.We begin to decide to put this particular person into a box; ( a friend, soon to be a partner or a best friend). And now, I'll be talking about when we want to date this person.

So, from there, I assume we know their religious background. Here comes the problem, we like that particular individual, but it turned out they have a different beliefs.Meanwhile, we can’t simply let them go, even there's this desire that we want to convert them yet it’s nearly impossible. So what can we do? when the religion is against our relationship and so is perhaps our family. They might dream all along to hold a fancy a wedding for us in an old beautiful church, synagogue, mosque (name it yourself). Do we want to sacrifice our happiness for what they want? Haven’t we sacrificed our freedom enough?

The ugly truth is that reality does not align perfectly with religion. In our daily life, we often see some of the unique relationships that work; them against the world. Nonetheless,if you grow up in a conservative background there will be this kind of rule; a Catholic must marry a Catholic, a Muslim must marry a Muslim, a Hindu must marry a Hindu and so on. This rule seemed to be rigid, while the only thing I see here is that they want to maintain the teachings and the community. I think that if you seek happiness, you should find your way and choose to be non conformist.

We are not simply defined by religion.It does not fully shape our personality as there are other main factors such as environment, society and also experience. It is simply unacceptable to cut a tie with the person we love because of religious differences. Religion should never be a reason for us to do it, simply because it is a religious law and we’re afraid to be a sinner or worse, ditched by your family.

First thing first, you are responsible of your own self and life. Not even society or religion should restrict they way you want to lead it.

However, most of the time, we forget our rights and capabilities. It is because we are too accustomed listening and trying to please people. I am also aware that we are motivated and influenced by the fear. I argue that fear plays major role in this situation. It comes in different form and depends on the individual. In this case, I would pick three major fears;The fear of sin, The fear of being nonconformist and the fear of our parents. The truth about fear is that we have been injected ever since we were a toddler Let's break down these three fears.

First, the fear of sin, Often we make sin in our daily basis. So why should we fear making a sin for love? because basically we commit the cycle of rinse and repeat. Even historically, the root of sin was love and apparently it seems to be still forgiven.

Second, The fear of being nonconformist. I know it takes courage to be unique and different but why not? So, why not being a nonconformist for a love you have been waiting all this life? will you just let it all go, then lead your life, whining everywhere about being single and say ” Maybe, God will send them in perfect time”, truth is there’s never a perfect time. All you gotta do is try.

Third, The fear of parents. Okay so we love them, they raised us emotionally and financially. In return we often followed whatever they told us to. Yet now, we're a grown individual,we've seen some ugly side of life so why do we still cling onto our parents when it comes to deciding a life partner? Because again, it is us who will lead the life, It is not our parents who will experience it. Therefore, do not let your parents decide the way you will lead a life for the next several years. We have had it enough.

In short, do not let those three fears stop us from achieving one important aspect of our life. If our relationship and love are worth fighting for, go for it. Do not let anything stop us. We are responsible for our choices and it is only us.

I would now offer another insights about how unreliable it is to set someone's religious background as a parameter in dating.

It surprises me how most parents in my society advised their children that they should marry based on religion. Parents put it on top of the list of apart from wealth and looks. It is almost like we are applying a job and we gotta commit to that job for the rest of our live. What more surprising is that, personality would be less considered. Even if one has a religion that does not simply makes one a good human being.

Here is an evidence of what I say relating to parents and religion :
” Five years ago, I met a guy who I was close with. My parents knew about it. They loved the guy because he was good looking,same religious background and quite wealthy. That guy, was very nice in front of my parents. Yet there lied an ugly truth, He was actually a violent, unfaithful and a cheater. So I decided to cut the ties because of that. Later on, I dated a guy from different religious background. It seemed annoying for my parents. Thus, my mother and I had a talk, heart to heart. " why can’t you be with a guy who has same religious background?”. I had no answer for that because I couldn't make a generalization. Then,I kept on bumping into a guy from different religious background. It made my parents more annoyed. As result, they sat me down and again another talk. She said that having a relationship with different beliefs would bring complications such as acceptance in the society and so on. They would only emphasizes on the society acceptance. From that time on, they set a strict rule that I should be married to a man from same beliefs. However, I grew up and completely secularized myself. They will never be responsible about the life that I will lead because it is I who will experience it.Apart from that, I personally met a lot of douche who claim themselves to be ” religious” yet they were not. I have also met the kind of person who never pray in daily basis, even didn't believe in any organized religion yet simply a gem among us.

Through experience narrated above. I learned that religion, should not be on top of the list on deciding a life time partner. It should be personality above all. Finally, we will left with two options: first, be a complete happy and free human being or being a conformist masking our happiness while waiting for death.

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