Aires
Your day will be hectic and fraught with peril. On the plus side, you will end up with plenty of source material for that novella that’s been bouncing around in your head, trying to get out.
Taurus
You will fall madly in love with a marsupial. It will be unrequited love; he is in love with a duck.
Gemini
Later today, your presence will have a calming effect on two women who’ve gotten sunburned while stuck at a tollbooth.
Cancer
You will reach the height of your depravity today. From there, you will be able to see beyond the curve of the earth.
Leo
That art project you’re working on will be greatly improved by eavesdropping while waiting in line for the oil change you’ve been putting off.
Virgo
The planets slipped out of alignment. You will be A Gemini today.
Libra
In bed this morning when you thought it would be a bad idea to get up, you were right. Too late now.
Scorpio
A tall man wearing a green coat will approach you and make a suggestion. You will find it repulsive, but it is your only hope.
Sagittarius
Today you will leave others in awe of your eloquence. That and $4.21 will buy you a latté.
Capricorn
The problem that you were so concerned about yesterday is not really a problem. In fact, it’s the solution. Back to the drawing board.
Aquarius
Fear not the bulging midriff; loose-fitting flesh suits you better than you know.
Pisces
Avoid Aisle 6 in the grocery store today. The pinto beans are on to you.
Pixabay image
Ha ha...cute. This brought back memories of an online magazine I used to write for, including a monthly, sarcastic astrology column.
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Thank you so much for participating in the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!
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Hi @preparedwombat!
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