I was up super late last night and had the itch to write, but no idea what to write about. I started thinking of my bands songs and how each and every one has it's own special story behind it. Some are funny, some are short, and others like this one go deeper than I'm sure anyone even realizes. And I wanted to share it with you all.
She wakes up lying on the cold, damp leaves and rotting wood of a forest floor. She can hear something fluttering by as the chilly wind blows around her hair, making whispering noises in her ears. Trying to lift herself up, she realizes that her strength is lacking, making it harder to focus on her surroundings and not on the pain in her body and head. Blinking a few times, the blur starts to fade and she realizes that it’s dark… Too dark. She catches her balance on a nearby tree and tries to figure out what she is hearing beyond the black veil of the trees. Screams, moans, crying? But who are the ones who sound like they are suffering? Where are they in this black forest? No path ahead, and only overgrowth surrounds her. There's not even a moon in the sky to light the ground between the leaves and branches of ancient trees. They seem to melt into the darkness as they sway in the wind and moan their own lament to the suffering.
Her first steps are weak and unsure as she reaches out, holding on to trees as she passes them. It’s just too much, she feels weird, odd, something is not right. She stops to rest on a fallen tree to catch her breath which seems to be stolen by the very darkness that surrounds her. Frantically looking around for the path that leads to safety and starlight. Yet no stars are there to help her find her bearings. Only the moans and suffering of those she cannot see. Does she dare venture toward them or run away into the wilderness? A twig snaps just feet behind her, though nothing can be seen. Decisions must be made, and they must be made now. Jumping up, she continues the way she started, trying to find an end to the mysterious forest. All the while being followed by something dark and mysterious, as if it were dipped in Death’s shadow. Something that moves as quiet as a heart that has ceased to beat. But she knows that something is there, following her, watching her, waiting for the right moment to strike.
All of a sudden she becomes weak, very weak. Her stomach is churning, her mind is burning as it explodes with pain. Visions and odd smells come and go, and whispers flood her consciousness as she floats. Is she falling, can she stand? “You’ve got to find your balance and try to escape. You must do all that you can to find your ground and save yourself,” she screams in her head. But the pain is just too much...
A scream escapes her lips like the cold song of a banshee. An ear piercing, guttural scream filled with pain and sorrow. She feels her whole body become paralyzed by some unseen force and falls to the forest floor once more. Pain is racing throughout her body as she thrashes on the ground and foams blood at the mouth, not being able to control what her body is doing, and not understanding it either. But still very much awake to this world and her surroundings. The dark demon creeps closer, reaching for her with thin, skeletal hands. She then realizes that the evil demon bitch has finally struck her down and caught its prey. Her warmth is then stolen from her soul as it creeps ever closer to reveal the form from under the ripped, dirty cape. She is staring into the dark soul that is herself. She is her own nightmare, trapped inside her own darkness, forever.
A huge factor behind some of my music is the pain, suffering, and odd effects that are caused by my Epilepsy. Most don't even realize that I have it, and some don't really understand it. Myself and many doctors included... One of the many side effects of having a brain problem (so I've been told) is having very vivid, emotional dreams. And I mean VERY vivid and emotional... I wake up scared, crying, sweating. And sometimes the emotional effects last for days from them, depending on how bad it was. This song was written from one of those dreams, and it really stuck with me. So much so that I am able to write in detail the whole dream even years after I had it. The name Evil Demon Bitch was something that my husband playfully called me while a little too tipsy at a New Years Eve party when I was trying to make him behave... And well, it just fit perfectly.
Thanks for looking and hope to see you again soon!
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