What an interesting story! It kept me reading until the end to see why the poor cow had ended up there.
I'm not a professional writer, by any means, but your post over at the freewrite asked for opinions/critique. So here are my very non-professional opinions! What jumps out at me the most are format/minor grammar issues. For example:
“What happened!?”, I said demanding an answer. “You aren’t going to believe this!”,
“That was crazy!”, “Holy Crap!”, the guys were yelling over each other.
I had to re-read this because I wasn't sure who was speaking after the initial "What happened!?" part.
Overall, though, it was an interesting read. If you feel you might enjoy it, keep an eye on @mariannewest and participate in a freewrite. They're posted daily and are quite a lot of fun! It's also good practice. :-)
Thank you very much for your take. I feel like I have the ability to tell stories but not a well-seasoned craft. I Didn't know how to put multiple responses from a group of people so I just put that in there. I can't afford the Grammarly subscription so I'm stuck with a glorified spell checker.
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Don't forget to utilize the internet, as well! :-) There are lots of websites that are dedicated to writing, grammar, etc. I often use them when I can't quite work out how to write a particular scene. For example, not long ago I ended up wanting to write a scene where one character interrupts another. After a quick search and some cross-checking (I like to see multiple sources saying X method is correct), I was good to go.
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Thank you I will
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