I should have kept one, but my life was to chaotic in my past.
Writing a diary was the last thing on my mind, but now that i look back i realized that i experienced many things, and i forgot many situations.
That people tell me, remember this or that, then i look at them and think...
aaaahhhh yeah

So in some way it's good to keep a diary, but if your life is chaotic in a way that thinking of surviving is more important, then a diary is the last thing on your mind.

But it was also a different time zone, and i should have done it really.
Iv done many things, what people don't know, i only know.
And then i mean things what are positive or what seems impossible for others.
So when i think back, then i feel a very strong force coming inside of me, what gave me strength to do everything i want to do.

It's the same like when someone did many stupid things in the past, and when they think back, then they feel bad or angry.
Same count for people who experienced violence in there past, they will feel something when they think back.

Same counts for me, but i did opposite and done many good things.
So sometimes a memory jump back up, when i hear a song, or i see a movie or when i see someone, and then the first thing i do is smile and reminisce about the past.

So yeah, i wish i had written down what i did al together, because i did more than i can remember.
Like one time i was on a house party of my cousin, the party was organized by my little niece.

And i was there with some other cousins, to keep an eye on the younger generation, then on some point some people got drunk and were making trouble, and we removed those guys in a blink of an eye.

So i stood outside keeping an eye on those drunk adults who where after the younger generation girls of the party.
Then i stood there and out of the blue a young guy stepped towards me and asked me if i was Steven.

I said yes with a angry tone, why you ask?
Then he said, from my mother i have to call you uncle....
I said what??? who are you.
Then he said his name, and then a thought came up, who said.
You know that name lol

Then i said of course, you are the kid of a woman and guy i know.
Because i introduced them to each other, and help and support them in there relationship right before he was born.
Then i thought, fuck i completely forgot about that.
But i was 16 back then, and i completely forgot what i did back then.
Then i realized that i did a lot of things in those days, many things what i should have written down.
Many things what i simply forget and sometimes memories jumped up in a beautiful way, like that kid who came up to me and since that day.
He is now my little cousin, he is not little anymore BTW and is now a K1 fighter.

And what's even better, he's best friends with Yinna, they see each other like brother and sister, and Yinna is like family to us.

So i did not do stupid things, i could not afford them.
One mistake was fatal, i had to be sharp as a knife to survive.
This life is difficult to understand for people who was grown up at home, in a family, i did not have that luxury.
And there for i never ever thought of normal things like writing in a diary.
Great Post Sam!