Haunted: The writer's plight

Let me start by saying I don’t think I will ever call myself a writer. Maybe I think it’s pretentious or maybe I feel I’m not good enough. When I think about writers, Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Chinua Achebe, Flora Nwapka and the likes come to mind.

Then there’s me.

I never know what exactly I’m trying to say half the time and the other times I use too many words and end up being incoherent.

But alas for whatever reason, I have been unfairly burdened with the curse of a writer; to be always and forever tortured by the ghosts of the ideas that came to me and I did nothing to bring to life.

Maybe they danced through my mind just as I was about to fall asleep. Perhaps they were drowned by the voice of my boss yelling at me for forgetting to remember another mundane task that was due hours ago.

These ideas are like little kids.

“Mummy come and play with me and spider man!”

“Not now baby, mummy is busy, we’ll play later”

They don’t understand the concept of timing, they show up when they want to show up and they expect you to reach out and touch them. But who can blame them? They want to feel loved, to feel desired and wanted. Only truly revealing all of themselves after you have made that first step.

If only they were less timid and more audacious, but they aren’t and most times I let them go.

But they never really go away,(the fictional stories are the most unforgiving) just far enough to be out of reach yet close enough to be within sight. And from there they haunt me.

I’m not even a real writer why should I suffer this plight?

So I have decided to put on paper every thought -every insane, every unnecessary, every pointless thought as it comes to me.

Because maybe if I release enough ideas I can appease them and they will no longer torment me. And also for the benefit of those that believe that I can actually eventually scribble down something worth reading.

So consider this a forewarning, the posts you will see on here will be worthless and a complete waste of your precious time but in the off chance that you do read it, or you have any similar experiences please do not hesitate to share.