Is love? Or is it an act of domination?

in writing •  7 years ago 

How many times have we heard phrases like this: "He's jealous because he loves me", "I love that dress, but it's too short, why do not you change it?" or "Who do you talk to so much?"
These can be indicators that you may be a victim of violence in your relationship.


Source

Violence in love relationships

Violence in relationships can occur both in the relationships of adolescents and adults, and is that many of these behaviors can be learned in our early relationships thanks to little experience or thanks to the culture that promotes the society of "romantic love" "that has caused stereotypes of suffocating relationships of couples, which can lead to psychological or physical violence.
Many think that for there to be violence there must be physical aggression and that is that they consider jealousy as normal evidence of love that will always be present in all relationships. Other characteristics are the sexist stereotypes or the "female object", which makes your partner see the other as a property.

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In this sense, from the social sciences can be evidenced how the culture idealizes romantic love, where the feminine love must be unconditional, sacrificed, delivered, obedient and subjugated and on the other hand the love of man must be dominant everything seen from a society patriarchal. Where women are taught to wait and to love a man with total devotion. All this being reinforced from the media (soap operas, series movies, etc.), so romantic love ends up being an instrument of social control.

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On the other hand, from psychology you can see how in some people patterns of thought are generated, behavior that leads to generate stereotypes about what the ideal couple is like and how a "normal" love relationship should be.
It is important to emphasize that not only women are victims of violence in romantic relationships, nowadays it has also been shown that men can also be victims of this situation.

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Then, some relationships can be based on jealousy, claims and control of the other person, these relationships in one way or another directly or indirectly allow violence, the deterioration of the love relationship and damage the self-esteem of the other, making them fall into a vicious circle of victim and victimizer difficult to abandon.

These are some signs that you are suffering from violent relationships.

  • It gives you nicknames or calls you in ways you dislike, especially in public.
  • He uses emotional blackmail (he promises to commit suicide if he leaves) or lies or cheats.
  • Check your activities: who are you going to go out with ?, where are you going ?, check your cell phone or do you forbid things ?.

Source

  • Is jealous, suggests that you are with another person or compare you with your ex-girlfriends.
  • It has destroyed your possessions (letters, gifts, cell phones).
  • Makes aggressive caresses.
  • He or she has mistreated you by arguing that it is "game".
  • Physical aggression has occurred: slapping, shoving, kicking.

Source

  • You victim of verbal and gestural aggressions, he or she shouts at you, makes threats to hit you.
  • Threaten to hit you, lock you up, leave you or even kill you.
  • Forces you to have sex or rapes.

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It is important the psychological help since this can have an impact on the self-esteem and in turn on the emotional state of the people and is that sometimes people can fall into this behavior unconsciously.
In short, it is transcendental to understand that love, and courtship and healthy relationships, is based on equality, respect and independence.
Real love has nothing to do with submission, nor with sacrifice, nor with "endurance”.

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