Enough With Your Dirty Gerbils and Dirty Dog
Letter to Neighbor
by The Invisible Man

Dear Mr Simpson,

I have always felt sad living near to you. You are the most sweaty neighbour a person could ever meet.

Therefore, you must understand how difficult it has been for me to approach you with this matter.

I'm afraid I can no longer stand your loud music.

I lay in bed last night, trying to sleep, and all I could think about was how your gerbils are too dirty and your dog is way too dirty. I had a nightmare that you burst in through the window brandishing a hammer.

I have to insist that you take action to stop your loud music from upsetting me. I demand that you paint the fence then take the fence down.

And while we're on the matter, I'm finding your broken fence increasingly inexcusable. This is not the kind of behaviour I expect from somebody living in a respectable neighbourhood like Daffidol Meadow.

If you don't rectify the situation I shall have no choice but to call the council and post photos of your loud music on Reddit.

Furthermore, I have close ties with thugs and I won't be be afraid to cash in a few favours if you don't comply with my demands.

Thanks
The Invisible Man

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman