Date that vegetarian. How bad could it be!

Date that vegetarian. How bad could it be!

That's what a female friend told me. As a foodie, a date for me very often works on the basis of food choices.

And as a rule I don't date vegetarians; who knows vegetarianism might be a terrible disease which might spread through social interaction!

There is a first time for everything in life, including dating a vegetarian. And this is a tale of that!

Source

There was a girl who was quite interested in me and thanks to her being vegetarian, I avoided her like the plague. The more I avoided her, the more frequently she pestered me.

After lamenting this harrassment to a friend of mine, she advised, "go out on a date with her, how bad could it be?"

So I mustered up all the courage within and said yes. And it was ON!

She said, "5 star". I said, "Coffee shop". She, "fancy restaurant". I, "McDonalds". She, "drinks and dinner". I, "Pizza Hut".

She, "Saturday night and you can stay at my place". I, "Tuesday evening after work and we go to back our respective places".

Two battles won and the confidence of seeing through the evening started building.

But...

...A few hours before scheduled departure I got cold feet. I texted her, "hey my motorcycle has broken down, I won't be able to pick you up, can we do this some other evening?"

I got a reply post haste, "Don't worry I will borrow my flatmates car and pick you up". Damn, excuse number one just got shot down like an alien conspiracy theory.

So there I found myself, standing by the roadside peeping into every car with a woman driver and forcing a fake smile, only to get a sour grimace or shown the finger in return.

After a few aborted missions, I finally managed to flag the correct car and woman down.

As I sat in he car, the hair on the back of my neck was standing on end. As if I was entering the Amazon forest with only a toothpick as a weapon for self defence.The wheels of the car turned and conversation flowed like a river. Like the sea, I was at the receiving end!

As we sat at a table in the restaurant, her words suddenly rang through like thunder, "You know I won't be eating. Today is Tuesday, a day of prayer, fasting and abstinence"!

Wait, whaaat?

"But don't worry, you go ahead and eat. I will get myself a Pepsi"

My keen sense of observation told me that the shit had already hit the fan and there was no hope.

And so I ordered the cheesiest, biggest pepperoni pizza on offer and took my own sweet time knocking it down while my dear date sipped on pepsi after pepsi.

Just when I thought the evening couldn't get any worse, I return from the restroom to see that she had already paid the bill. After spending a few moments arguing over the bill, I gave up. Surely the stars had aligned perfectly behind a baboon's bottom, it just wasn't my day.

As I sat disconsolately in her car, I whipped out my phone and started texting my friend with all the appropriate cuss words. Only to look up out of the car and see that we are NOT headed towards my home.

"Erm, this isn't the way to my place you know"

"Haha, yes I know silly. I thought we could go to my place"

"But, but, but. Tuesday, abstinence and all that..."

"We can cuddle till midnight, it will then be Wednesday"

With great self-control I managed to keep my pizza and laughter within.

"Can you drop me off here, I think I will walk home"

That first also ended up being the last time I ever dated a vegetarian. A match not quite made in heaven!

The first time i am trying to post using my phone. Let's see how goes the formatting