La Croix Sux - Am I Right?

Seriously though, what is the deal with this unsweetened flavorless bubble water?!?

Everyone is shitting there pants over this drink. Whether I’m at a party, the kitchenette in an office, or at a picnic at the cemetery, this multi-colored beverage is a demand of the most trendy of connoisseur.

I mean seriously, people love it so much, they make swimming trunks out of it!

But is it any good?

It claims that it comes in a plethora of flavors, from Lemon-Lime to Tangerine, but can it really be called a “flavor” if you only “taste” it AFTER you’ve stopped drinking it, and even then, just the ghost of a flavor that lingers in the back of your throat, like a pungent beer and chicken wings aroma that lingers after eating too much at a Buffalo Wild Wings and puking in the urinal.

And then on top of that, it’s got it’s nose so far up it’s own ass that it can’t just say Grapefruit, Oh, no no no no, it’s gotta call THAT “flavor” pamplemousse (the french word for snobby douche.)

Millennials love this crap, so it’s easy to hate it, but really, is it just that my palette has been so ruined by a childhood of jamming as many skittles in my mouth as possible, or is it really lazy flavoring that has become popular because it’s “cool” to like it?

I need your help. Am I right, this shit is swill? Or do you just absolutely love it, and think I’m a maniac.

You tell me.