The reality of Christmas without children
The magic one year out of two
The year we separated, I did not have my kids for Christmas. I do not remember how I made this choice but it happened like that. No doubt at random in the calendar or because it was necessary to make a choice. I must say that we are not prepared to spend Christmas without the children. But once the alternation engaged, we do not return back. Magic does not work anymore, so every other year.
We are coming out of the holidays and this year, I did not have the chance to have children to celebrate Christmas. I immediately decided to take the pen, or rather the keyboard, to write on this subject. We never think about it when everything is fine but for a lot of people, including divorced dads, it's not quite the same story.
Children's Day
Christmas is the children's day par excellence. The Christmas tale created by Coca Cola, sublimated by Disney and fairy tales. It is also for others the feast of another child, in a barn, that will change the world forever. Everyone has their own preference/reference, but children are undoubtedly the centre of the celebrations.
We offer them gifts, we prepare giant socks, without forgetting our little shoes as in the song! The boxes of chocolates are out and a well-decorated table is prepared to share a magical moment with your family.
Shared Spirit
The problem is when the whole family isn't there. For my part, even if all the conditions are met, people, gifts, delicious food... My thoughts cannot help wandering. I think of my children because it is their party, their moment of the year when everything becomes possible and it is also thanks to us, parents, that magic works.
So we lose that role every other year. One year out of two in short-time working. We catch up well when they come back to celebrate this beautiful party late. But it's not the same. Christmas is December 24th at night with Christmas Eve and waking up in the morning with the appearance of gifts at the foot of the tree.
I must say that the fact that I've rebuilt my life has eased that suffering. I had a third child who is present full time. This compensates for the absence of the first two but this suffering has not completely disappeared and that is normal.
What more can we say?
I remember my first Christmas without my children and my heart wasn't there at all. Not all the evening of Christmas Eve fortunately but at key moments, the absence of the children filled my heart with heaviness and sadness. If you haven't spent a Christmas without your children yet, prepare yourself for this fate. It's not good, but that's the way it is.
It is a pain that is hard to accept, like not being able to read a story or not being able to go to bed with your children every night. Or wish your child a happy birthday when he or she wakes up on D-Day.
To conclude, I will say that if you are in this case, you are not alone. Be well surrounded during this festive period to compensate for Christmas without the children. Share your feelings with your loved ones, they are also there for you. I hope you will be able to alleviate this lack as soon as possible in your life. Don't be alone in your corner.
And last but not least, have a Christmas Eve when you get your children back if you can. Make this effort, your children will remember and thank you because they too, somewhere, suffer from your absence at this time of year.