Steemit, like most things in life, is a balancing act. You search for an equilibrium from the time you sign up to the day you achieve everything you set out to achieve and then it continues to be a balancing act from there. I’ve recently crossed a threshold, one that you all will reach if you continue to do what excites you, where it stopped feeling like a struggle.

There were two real turning points for me. The first was reaching that point where I feel that most of my work does not fall on deaf ears. A lot of that has to do with finding followers (friends) that go out of their way to read your work. I found a few of those early on but thanks to the initiatives I start resonating with people, it’s recently gotten to the point where I no longer feel like I’m talking to myself. You will get there too!

The second turning point was payout. I never pretend not to care about the money, because I do. I don’t let it dictate how I behave, I always insist on being myself despite whether or not it pays well, but the energy that’s locked up inside those digits and bills and cryptocurrency serves as “gas” to move around effortlessly in our society, and while I do love being outside of society, I also like to spend time inside society to interact with people there and enjoy modern conveniences and the fruits of our collective labor. I truly believe that if we just work at becoming better and better versions of ourselves and care about others and care about ourselves, the rest will come together. And I’m beginning to see the evidence, the fruit of MY labor, thanks to those who see me for who I am. It’s truly amazing.

I came to steemit to share my art and connect with others, to brainstorm ways of helping myself and other artists achieve abundance just doing what we do and being who we are.

I didn’t really plan on writing essays and blogging, nor did I plan on spearheading initiatives or curating. I certainly did not plan on reading as much as I read here. I wasn’t strategic to the point of doing anything I didn’t want to do, but in order to reach a substantial amount of people, I did experiment with my behavior at the platform. As far as followers go, regardless of how populated steemit becomes, thousands works for me. I have no desire to reach hundreds of millions, I find such a level of noteriety to be unnatural, as I have been writing about in a recent series on fame. I just want to reach enough people to help build a network of communities which encourages and rewards us for just being who we are. If we were already living in a world that so closely resembled the world of our collective desires, 300 followers would probably feel just about right.

I am just seeking for a way a way to interact harmononiously with my environment, enjoy abundance and help it spread.

tails

At this point I need to ask myself which behaviors came from a place of deepest sincerity and which were rooted in “lack” beliefs.

I want to move my focus onto only that which excites me most on the platform, and believe that abundance will continue to follow. It won’t lead to any big changes but will require a few adjustments. That last time I made such small adjustments was when I was trying to pull myself out of depression, and it lead to a huge change in my steemit experience, eventually inspiring #nobidbots and #steemitzombies and led me to where I am now.

Stronger Relationships

One of my biggest challenges at steemit has been this feeling that I’m spreading myself too thin. I’d like to slow down with going out of my way to find new people and take my time getting to know the ones I know and the ones who’s are finding me. This includes some of the smallest minnows and some big whales.

I am not looking to reduce my following list to a very large degree but I am going to trim it a bit, mostly people who I’ve followed who haven’t yet followed me. I may also cut people who excessively resteem material which isn’t top notch or people who use bidbots, meme a lot, or never engage with me or anyone I know on steemit or discord and are not part of initiatives I support.

Essentially the goal is to recognize every name that I am following and be as well acquainted as possible, and to get closer with people who are in my immediate vicinity and have common goals. This will be a slow process, I don’t want to unfollow anyone who I should be following. If you see I unfollow you and you are hurt by this, let me know and I will re-follow you.

Back to my roots

I joined steemit to share my art. I write stories and songs, and I’ve put that aside because I couldn’t bare the thought of some of my proudest work being buried under new posts without receiving any views of listens. I also found it fun to write essays and blog and talk about this platform and crypto which is changing our lives and people engage more with that. I love building communities and working on initiatives that help people. I won’t quit doing any of this, but I no longer want to sacrifice my work on personal projects and I want to re-incorporate them into my steeming.

Here are three projects I want to move my focus back to, I started all of them before I was at steemit

• Confessions of the Damaged is a collection of short stories that explore our relationship with reality and the borders between worlds, both literal and figurative. It’s about 70% complete and I really hope sharing some stories here will go over better than the first time I tried.
• An untitled collection of songs. I’m in the process of coming out of my shell so that I can share my music to a greater degree. I have at least 20 songs that I’d like to first share, then polish, then re-record and make an album or find another nice way to tie these song songs together.
• Science fiction novel(s). The story came to me in a dream so vivid I couldn’t leave it alone. I started trying to piece it together and wrote 3 chapters and an outline for 30% of a book, but it went full back-burner when steemit came into my life. I’d like to revive this effort.

So I’ll still write essays and work on our communities and initiatives but around 50% of my posts will be related to these projects in the near future.

Reading your work is important to me, but sharing mine is my personal priority.

This is hard for me to say because I want to create balanced relationships and community rather than just a “fan base”, but writing and sharing is not a hobby or a side project for me, it is who I am. That’s not to say that it’s not who you are, and I want so badly to reciprocate all the attention and support I receive. This is something most people who have significant readership usually leave unspoken but I feel the need to say it, and let others know it’s something I’ve thought about. The more people read my work and the more friends I make here, the harder it is to keep up with everything and everyone. I will try as hard as I can, but I sometimes I have so many things I want to write and songs I want to work on and initiatives I need to develop, I will certainly not be able to read all the posts I’d like to read.

I hope that this doesn’t cause anyone who reads my work to stop reading. I also hope our relationship don’t become unequal where I’m only taking, never giving. I’ll certainly do everything I can to keep it equal. Focusing on the relationships I’ve already made entails reading posts by friends but I will still miss a lot. I will try to check out posts from anyone who leaves great comments on my posts. If I forget, I apologize in advance! If we are already friends, feel free to send me a link to the work you are proudest of, or to just catch up and chat!

No Shitposting

Now that I’ve got some readers and a steady flow of income I’m going to curb all my urges to post anything too half assed. I’ve never been one for shitposting, but I have posted without putting my heart into it from time to time. No more of that. It’s not about post limit or formatting, I’m not going to be strict with myself about what I can or can’t post or how to present it, but I want all my posts to come from a desire to share, not from a desire for a desire for payout or because I feel like I should post at least once a day. If I find myself not knowing what to say, I’m no longer going to put out anything halfassed. You all deserve better than that. I also don’t want to take advantage of the autovotes I’m on and make sure I really deserve all the support I get. It’s all good, but once in a while I still want to allow myself to take a break when I’m not feeling it.

Growing me to grow you

Starting next week, im going to stop splurging every time I get $10 sbd. I’m going to start saving SBD (maybe half of my SBd earnings?) and looking for a chance to convert to Steem and power up. That week with @krnel’s 4000SP delegation was amazing, I could really feel how I wasn’t making a difference with a $1 upvote and I’d like to get back there and move beyond that so I can spread this feeling of success and empowerment to others!

Not much will change but these tiny adjustment should allow me to put more effort into the things I’m passionate about without much sacrifice.

Start acting as if you were a whale and you will find the pieces come together to bring you closer to your goals on steemit. Be the way you want whales to act and you will find people start treating you with more respect and will help you to reach such a level of influence! What kind of whale will you be?

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Confessions of the Damaged - a collection of short stories

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If you like what I do and you have enough to spare, please consider becoming a patron on Patreon or sending some crypto gifts. Feel free to send me a message on discord if you need help raising your vibes or learning a language.

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by @skyleap