Dear CryptoDeaf, I'm 19 years old, gay, male and I'm partnered with a guy who's also 19 going on 20 shortly, but he's regularly getting onto me, constantly calls me names, hits me every so often and takes advantage of me by refusing to get a job. He lies saying he's trying, but he just won't get off his duff and actually put applications anywhere or do anything, but all he does is sit at home on the internet all day playing computer games, eating me out of house and home and when I try to talk to him about getting work to putting forth towards the household, getting on food stamps to support his eating habits or anything really, he gets angry and it becomes like it's starting WWIII. What do I tell him to get him to calm down? ~StressedWell damn, hello Stressed,
What do you do to get him to get off his ass and do things? There's really only four simple words you need to tell him. Make sure you have the police with you as a police escort, come inside and tell him "Hey sweety?" then say these four words very clearly, and make sure to enunciate because these four words are the most important 4 words you'll ever say in your entire life. "Get the fuck out".
he's regularly getting onto me, constantly calls me names, hits me every so oftenHe's leeching off you like a parasite, meanwhile he's constantly getting irate with you, belittling you which is also disrespectful as hell, then he further goes on and literally hits you? That's domestic violence! I don't want him to correct himself and neither should you! What you should want is what I want, and that's for him to fuck right off and out of your life. Off is the general direction in which he should fuck.
He's an abuser and honestly, you can do far, far better than him. And don't buy into any of that bullshit of "Oh well he said he was sorry and won't ever do it again" that just gets him back in the door and in your home where he'll get comfortable and do it all over again. I know how these start up, my ex was just like that.
Kick him the hell out of your home, wash your hands of him, and treat yourself to a nice reward, something you've been wanting or needing but couldn't get because that abusive parasite was attached and sucking your life blood out of you. Afterall, you remove a tapeworm, you don't re-ingest the tape worm because you feel sorry for it. You also don't reattach a leech after burning it off your flesh.
He may love you, and you may love him, but it's not the kind of love you need. It's not uncommon for someone to love and continue to love and forgive their abuser and they'll keep forgiving the abuser time and time again repeatedly.
Take a look at it like this. A woman with a black eye, her husband gave it to her because he was drunk and pissed off at something stupid and blew up on her. She should leave the prick right? Obviously yes.
You're in the same boat, the problem is, you're the woman in that scenario, and just like the woman that stays with her abusive boyfriend, because she loves him and "well he didn't mean it", doesn't matter. You don't think my husband pisses me off from time to time? I don't ball up my fist and sock him one in the jaw, nor do I slap him. The worst I do is give him the cold shoulder for an hour or two until I can cool off.
Your partner cannot be hitting you. I don't care if you're a woman being hit by a man, a man being hit by a woman, a woman being hit by a woman or a man being hit by a man. Regardless if your relationship is gay, lesbian or heterosexual in nature, you do NOT deserve to be hit by your partner. EVER!
It's one thing if it's literally an accident, like for example he's having a conversation with a friend and you just happen to be walking by while in his heated discussion he swings his arms behind himself and smacking you in the face without having realized you were there. It's another thing entirely to intentionally hit you.
You'll probably feel empty without him, you'll probably even miss him and be tempted to forgive him and let him come back and probably even beg him to come back. Don't. Just do something else. In fact, get a couple butch lesbians to babysit you, these chicks know WTF is up and won't let you go back to that bullshit and they won't try to sex you up and take advantage of you sexually in a bad emotionally state. Definitely lesbian the hell up after he's gone.
Just like Lesbians in a similar position should gay the hell up, preferably with at least one queen and one very beefy bear.
Either way, stay the hell out of any form of relationship with that guy and don't let him back into the home unless he has a police officer with him to finish getting the rest of his stuff. Once he's out of the home, he's not welcome back. And get a restraining order and order of protection while you're at it.
You deserve better than what you have with him, and honestly you can get better too.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://www.sbdpress.me/cryptodeaf/2018/03/dear-cryptodeaf-1-03-04-2018/
That poor kid :( As survivor I concur they never change out with the trash ...
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Which is quite unfortunate. Sorry you've had to experience it personally.
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It is what it is ...and thank you
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