Confessions of an Addict

in addiction •  7 years ago 

I grew up in a family with an affinity for alcohol.

Seeing my parents grow increasingly ridiculous repelled me. My father, in particular, never knew when to stop drinking. He would become so belligerent, that he'd start picking fights with my mother or my older sister. For some reason, I was not a target. It is likely because when I saw the pile of beer cans grow past four, I would take my leave.  Later that night, I'd find him passed out on a couch. I'd gently wake the sleeping dragon, so as not to incur his drunken wrath, and urge him off to bed. 

So it makes sense, that as a child, I'd grow to hate alcohol.

I even went so far as to say that I would never drink alcohol, which is very similar to that hung-over declaration that "I will never drink again". At age 21, I continued to shun alcoholic beverages, and it wasn't until 23 that my curiosity got the better of me. I had my first drunken experience. To my great surprise, I enjoyed the experience.

I enjoyed it so much, that it became a habit.

I was surrounded by it. At home, my family members would each be holding a bottle of beer or a glass of wine. When I was out with friends, we would almost always be at a bar. When I met Omar, it was at a bar. It got to a point where I felt like I had actually become my father. Nobody wants to admit that they might be struggling with alcoholism. I still don't want to admit it... but I do feel as though I am struggling.

What happened to that young woman who deemed the risks and negative health effects of alcohol consumption to be too high to be worth it?

I don't feel as though this alcohol-addicted woman is really me. When night comes around and I start to feel bored with everything, and I wonder if a bit of a pick-me-up would liven things up, or when I can't fall asleep because my body is struggling to metabolize the sugars... I feel like it isn't really me.

So I've come to the point where I've decided to give up drinking.

For awhile.

Not forever.

Alcohol can still be fun if it is safely consumed on occasion. 

Everything in moderation.

But for the next 60 days, I'll be going on a cleanse. Omar has finally woken up to the damaging effects of excessive sugar consumption, and has decided to give up sugars for this time, which of course means no alcohol. This is my moment. With this support, I will find myself again. It is time that I regained control. It is time that I steered myself back to my original path, toward my goals of living a healthy life. It is time that rediscover who I really am.

It certainly isn't easy to come out and publicly share this, but if I continue to bear the weight all alone, my chances of success dramatically drop. It sucks to say it, but I could really use some support.


Wish me luck.

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Good luck and stay strong, it will be worth it in the end. Very courageous post. You and Omar seem to be a great team!

Thank you very much!

Good luck!
I know how hard it is to get off an addiction.
I had to have a higher purpose to get off all my addictions and illnesses. You can do it too!
Have you ever heard of ayahuasca or Iboga?
Have you ever heard of dr. Gabor Mate? Check it out.
Listen to his podcast. London real

No I haven't, but thank you. I will.

Truly beautiful and brave post.

Thank you for your support.

Nice photo tnx for share

Thank you, that's my dad in the photo with me. Holding his beer, as per usual.

beautiful post, you are strong!

Thank you for the support, it really means a lot.

  ·  7 years ago Reveal Comment

All the best.

Thank you.

Love you Janellybean, you'll do great, I know it. You're definitely strong enough.

Thanks

You can do it! Writing this is already the first step

My mother's side of the family is very sensitive for addictions. My grandfather was an alcoholic but stopped when my brother was born. Unfortunately his body was already damaged and 11 years later he died. Not because of the alcohol but because he has a longemboli, but if he wasn't an alcoholic before he might survived

Thank you, and thank you for sharing your story as well.

You're welcome and keep us updated how it's going :)

Wish you the best elle!

Thank you!

This is really moving, wish you all the success in this possible.

Thank you very much. All the best to you.

To you too guys :)

Thanks for sharing your story. I wish you luck with your challenge.

Thank you.

Best of luck. You will feel better for it.

I am certain that I will. Thank you.

Give it up for good. I did that some three or four years ago. I feel so well I can´t believe I used to drink. Drinking is like hammering you fingers. Nothing good about it for the drinker. So if you quit, just do you a favour and quit for good.

My father died from his alcoholism. For many years, I've never touched the stuff. As I've become older, I've learned to enjoy good beer, whiskey, wine. But, no matter what, I just can't bring myself to abuse it. Too many memories of my father including bad smells. I can smell vodka today and get a bit grossed out by it. Anyway, good luck. Life is about balance and moderation. You can do it.

Thank you. Your story serves as an inspiration.

Good luck! Everything in moderation is a great motto but sometimes it does take a more drastic change to get body and mind going in the right direction. Thanks for sharing :)

It is difficult to get out of alcohol addiction but am sure u will conquer it. Got to see your post from Omar's resteem. Instead of reaching out for alcohol try some kambutcha (kamboocha) tea- not sure of spelling. It gives same relaxing effect as alcohol but less toxic. wishing u all the best

Kombucha, being a fermented tea, contains a teeny tiny amount of alcohol. It certainly does not have enough to provide an effect that is similar to an alcoholic beverage. I have had it before, and it was such a pungent flavor that I was unable to drink the entire serving, and what little I did have was over the course of an hour or more. lol I just didn't like it. Thank you for the suggestion, anyway, I appreciate it knowing that it came from a good place.

I'll probably try doing that, anyway.

We live in a society where alcohol is glamorized and the destruction it can cause is seldom talked about. There is a reason why alcohol was completely illegal in the United States for ten years. I'm not saying it should be this way again but to me in some ways it kind of seems like society's views on alcohol have gone from one extreme to another. I wish you the absolute best of luck.

You are absolutely correct. That glorification makes it so much easier to throw caution to the wind. Thank you for your well-wishes.

This is awesome. Awareness is everything, it's so cool you guys came together & decided to cut sugar out:) I'm truly inspired. Thank you for sharing Elle.

Absolutely, thank you for the response. I'm overjoyed to be an inspiration to others.

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