A Memoir

Excerpt: Almost every conversation that I was engaged in ended with the same question. After I discussed notions like enlightenment, love, relationships and the dating scene, heading towards more abstract issues such as duality and religion, my colleagues smiled and asked me to give them a personal tip so they could find the kind of loving relationship that I spoke of. They did not know yet but what they really asked was "how can I have my enlightenment?". The answer was and is simple: Choose and You shall have it.

Credit: Sabrina Jenema

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The Journey towards enlightenment and specifically a true love relationship is personal and unique. Nevertheless, now that the road is well paved there is one guiding directive that applies to everyone – Choose! No matter who I talk to and regardless the circumstances of their lives it always begins and ends with the same thing – do you know what you want? Do you choose enlightenment?

Allegedly, it could be considered ridiculous to even pose those questions. After all who does not want a loving relationship? Who would refuse to have a deep reunion with life and nature and another human being that would make one happy and fulfilled? Indeed, at first glance, we all want True Love. The question is – do we choose it?do we know how to choose in the first place?!

Therefore, my first and foremost tip for you – those who seek enlightenment/ true love – is: Choose it.

Choosing is a state of being that does not take much effort or time. It is done continuously by everyone and its outcomes are projected in the outer reality. We live our choices every single moment of our lives. I wrote before that we all create our own reality and understanding that axiom gives us two gifts – freedom and responsibility. Now I add that the first tool for reality creation is choice. You have to choose and once you made a choice the universe will hear you and fulfill that choice. To use a witty parable I heard lately: The universe conspires to fulfill your desires!

How to choose?

Basically, humans can be categorized to two main types: those who make choices all the time and therefore create their reality, and those who drift along the river of life and passively let others determine what shape will their reality take. The move from one pattern of living to the other can be done instantly and requires only a decisive decision.

A difficulty may arise when one tries to remember how to make choices. Whereas it may seem easy or obvious (“How to choose? Well, I simply need to think of the things I want in my life, no”?), a genuine choosing process requires special attention to its three elements.

Proper choosing has to take effect on three levels – the mental, the emotional and the physical. Indeed, there are more levels of the existence but those three are the ones that we use to create our reality.

Credit: Kyle Glenn

1. At first, one needs to decide if they want to be enlightened, if they want a deep loving relationship? Begin by stating that choice in your thoughts and carry on to declare it to others when this subject comes up: “No, thank you. You are a very nice lady but I am looking for loving relationship and not just a fling. Therefore, I am not interested in going out with you”. Indeed, the temptations that life puts in front of us can sometimes be amazing but these are merely the universe’s ways to check how serious you are about the decision you made. These tests will go away soon after you stress to your selves that you remain firm to your original choice. Remember: the universe conspires to fulfill your desires, so once you made a choice you incidentally ask the universe to test you in order to see how serious you are. Hold on tight to that mental choice you made in your thoughts about enlightenment and true love.

2. Next – Act in your life according to that choice. In a relationship, for example, it means refraining from doing any act that stands in contradiction to your highest notion of True Love. It begins with the way you treat yourself, continues with how you treat other human beings, and ends with the actions you engage in your daily lives. Watch carefully what you do. You have the inner compass to tell you what complies with True Love and what stands against it. Hurting others takes you away from True Love. Endless searching for a mate in bars, clubs or on the internet takes you away from True Love. Dating people because you are bored or just for the sexual stimulation takes you away from TrueLove. It is you who decide each moment by each action what is your choice.

3. Your mental declarations and your daily behaviors should be accompanied by your emotional status. I am not speaking about the ups and downs or the myriad range of feelings that humans have. What I am referring to is the harnessing of your emotions to reinforce the choices you make.

Let me clarify this with an example – let’s say you made your mind to be enlightened and with it to have a deep and loving relationship. You choose it and whoever asks you about your love life you make it clear that you choose True Love. Then you walk your talk, that is you behave in a way that matches your initial decision. But still, something is missing. Deep within, you are still not sure that you will make it. You still doubt that you can have what you want. Doubt leads to confusion, frustration, worrying and depression. Those are feelings that do not match with your choice. Actually, they contradict the other efforts you invest in the other two categories: the mind and the behavior.

Remember - Your choice must be valid on all three levels. Therefore, you must harness all your efforts to change those feelings. Change the doubt to certainty. Feel how worthy you are. Feel how the mighty universe is coming to your aid to bring you true love simply because you deserve it. No need to contemplate your worthiness or to make a checklist of all your advantages and disadvantages in order to balance it. Simply – feel that all is ok and that your choice will manifest.

Is this just pretending? Absolutely. At first, your mind will tell you that you lie to yourself. That your choices worth nothing. That you don’t do it correctly. Your mind will battle your efforts to trust because your mind fears what it does not see, hear and grasp in its five senses.

Keep choosing. Keep choosing. Do not give up. Choose on all three levels until you will witness how your choices manifest right before you. And they will.

There is only one tip for allowing enlightenment and along with it the other gifts that life will bring you – choose!