Metamorphosis of an Anarchist

For years now I’ve contemplated writing down my life and experiences. Not necessarily to publish but so that, after I’m gone, those that might want to know who I was can read it from me and compare it to the life I lived according to the record.
Recently, I was asked by a fairly new resident of the anarchist community how I came around to such a ‘radical’(my words) stance. I figured since this chapter in my life is the most relevant to me, at the moment, I would go ahead and get it done and add it to the ‘manifesto’ later.

But where do I begin. One doesn’t simply fall into anarchy one day and simply say ‘Here I am. This is what I think now.’ For me, I do think it was a life long process. Not just because we are the sum of our histories but because, for as long as I can remember, I was always subversive, dissenting, oppositional, defiant and I intend to be those things to the end.
I am that teenager who said I won’t ever stop being who I am and I’ve stuck by it. I’ve grown in wisdom and knowledge, I’m sure, but my outlook, my perspective, my most basic inclinations and desires and compulsions are much the same as they were then.

Let me touch on a bit of background before I became a ‘proclaimed’ anarchist or at least visibly started down that road. When I ws a child, I was detached to say the least. And charismatic as hell. By 11, I was diagnosed with ODD(Oppositional Defiancy ‘Disorder’). I was ‘wired’ to resist and refuse authority. If you’re only reason for me to do as you say is ‘because you said so’ then you got nothing from me.

And that is as true today as it was then. Most children ‘grow’ out of ODD. They prescribed me meds, but, again, I don’t just do what I’m told. I need a reason. A real reason. Telling me that it will make me behave better is basically saying ‘so I’ll do as I’m told and stop questioning.’ So, obviously, I never took the shit.

So, I suppose you could say I’m pathologically determined to be an anarchist. To question authority. To seek out reason and logic and to question what I’m told when there’s nothing backing it but the expectation for me to accept it at face value, such as, ‘because it’s the law.’

But that’s not what we’re talking about. That’s all just history to lead up to the story of how I arrived where I am today, not as a measure of compulsion, but as a measure of outright choice. Having been raised in a conservative(and not that neo-shit we have today, at worst, Reagan conservatism) and practicing Protestant home, I have always been inclined to favor ‘military’ might, gun rights, capitalism, earning what you have and keeping what you earn.
Interestingly, my conservative leanings didn’t extend to social topics, such as fashion, music, entertainment, drug use, et cetera. While I didn’t personally use any ‘illicit’ substances until I ws 16, I regularly hung out with friends and groups who smoked pot, dropped acid and even did coke. It didn’t bother me, it just wasn’t my thing... at the time.

So... when did I actively begin pursuing some semblance of the idea of individual freedom? I would have to say it was the result of years of getting yanked around by the police and the courts over non-crimes like no insurance, registration, bad plates, speeding on empty roads. As I went through what I call the catch and release program the courts use for everything short of maybe murder and rape, I became increasingly frustrated. I’d get a job, make some money, pay my bills and go to the courtdates. But all it takes is one time not have the gas to get to court and they won’t grant continuances on the phone; next thing you know, you have warrants, you’re pulled over for a dim tail-light and you go to jail, lose your job, get admonished by some asshole in a robe for being a bad citizen then released to try to pull your life together in a month and have the money you ‘owe’ in that time.

I began looking into the law. Learning what I could do to try to fight some of this, all of it even. That led me to the ideas of sovereignty, the right to travel and other such themes. As I delved more into this community, I cam out the other side trying to learn more about Anonymous and even found myself liking the idea of the Venus Project. On its surface, it sounds great, efficient cities where people voluntarily participate administering daily tasks and everything is for everyone.
In my opinion at the time, it lacked one thing. And this is where what really mattered about how I was raised came through. I saw these ‘cities’ as susceptible to those that would live outside the walls and instead raid and take what is theirs. There was little mention of how to protect the cities from wildlife, ‘foreign’ invasion and, just because it’s not impossible, even alien invasion.
Now, forgoing the discussion of why we wouldn’t be able to defeat a superior species(which isn’t entirely true), the point is that they assumed everyone would be on board. That there wouldn’t be any exceptions. Everyone can have what they need and want and only need to put in a minimum of work, free to pursue their favorite passtimes and hobbies.

And so I conceived of the idea of the Mars Project, a group of persons who would live outside the cities, surviving on their own and acting as a protective measure against wildlife and other potential threats that may seek to harm those who choose to live within the walls. However, a group of idealists who truly believe they can overcome greed and violence simply by automating all our needs... well, they aren’t keen on the idea of armed groups sitting outside their doors. And for good reason. But, if not willing to arm themselves, then the idea, on that premise alone, is beyond reason.
I can’t say exactly what led me from constitutionalist, sovereign, minarchist to anarchy itself. It did correlate with Ron Paul’s bid for president, however. Though I have never voted, I was very much in favor of Ron. He talked about ending the war on drugs, detoothing the government, killing the fed, all the things I believed in. But it was obvious, early on, that he would be blackballed and blocked from having any real chance, even despite huge support from all over and that nearly all his contributions were from people and not industries or the like. He was legit. He had the want of the people behind him and he didn’t seem to stray from his stance of leaving people the hell alone.

I do believe firmly that Ron Paul’s ‘abuse’ on the road to nomination helped pave the way for me to finally accept that the system wasn’t broken. It was fixed. It was designed, or redesigned, specifically to keep would be political vigilantes from doing any real justice and truly serving their constituents. It brought into a new light the assassination of Kennedy and all that has proceeded from that singular moment. It seemed to me that some group has long owned the government and that Kennedy was the last ‘anomaly’ to get through their rigged system. After that, they doubled down and tightened their reigns such that it wouldn’t happen again. And it hasn’t.
Shortly after this, I found myself tripping into anarchist and voluntaryist circles who presented me with new perspectives on history and current events as well as some new ways in which to view ‘laws’ and documents used to grant ‘authority’ to a minority over everyone else. It was the constant study of history in the light of a perspective that the state is bound to always attempt to grow and control more and more that I began to see that pattern throughout the ages. It was the realization that the central banks controlled trade and the market and money and the acceptance of what has long been known, to follow the money, that led me to finally accept that, no matter the intentions of its orgins, this governement, and all government, once created, they all expand, absorb more and more powers, restrict more and more rights and take more and more from those they claim to serve and keep safe. That their promises of secure borders and social safety nets and fighting crime were just that, promises, they could be nothing more because there is no way to centrally combat poverty or provide security. It must be the responsibility and duty of each person to see to themselves, their prosperity and safety and then to see to their family’s, their community’s, et cetera.
The government is all backwards. It attempts to provide our needs from a top down approach. Take care of the whole and that will care for the individual, but that doesn’t work. The individual must stand and establish themselves first, then, and only then, can they go on to help others until it becomes that we all, through 6 degrees this way and that, can help each other as much as we can.
I suppose I should give my opinion on what the road from statism to anarchism looks like, from my position.
It first begins with questioning. You must question if what you have been told, by anyone, is right. You must think for yourself, first. If you can’t do that, no number of facts, figures and evidences will help you.
So, first, we must help people to find the courage to THINK.
Next would be to learn. You must be willing to know more than what is needed for day to day activities. The centralization of knowledge is the most important step to enslaving others. We must all take part in the dissemination of knowledge, to ourselves and each other, in order to break down the ‘spell’ those in power have over us by having knowledge we do not. The occult worked on this very premise. Those brought into the occult knew what the majority did not and so they were feared and revered because they seemed to have ‘power’. They did. KNOWLEDGE.
So, next, we must teach ourselves and share what we learn so that we all may learn, for ourselves, the truth of our world and reality.
Finally, we must take responsibility. For ourselves, first. For our loved ones next. For our community after that. We must care for ourselves as we can and make our own lives stable and secure as well as we can. Then we can look to helping those close to us to do the same. And so on.
SELF-RESPONSIBILITY
I believe, however, that before a person can truly take and finish this journey, it must be catalyzed. People don’t change the ways of their lives while comfortable. When comfortable, there is no reason to think they need to change things. So we must find those who have been tormented. Abused. Made to suffer needlessly in some way or that have witnessed those tey care for undergoing such. And then we must take them down this road.
This is why I also believe we will not be making things better from our current position. It is not enough. There is still too much comfort to leave room for denial and apathy in too many. Things must become much worse, on a societal level, before we can hope to truly effect change. So we must be patient, pulling from the system one victim at a time, once they see that they are, in fact, a victim of the state and their education. Then, when the day comes, there will be a mass awakening as the state takes one step too many, betting that it can quell any dissent from that point. That will be when we will have the numbers needed to truly have a chance.

Victimization at the hands of the state.
Thinking for one’s self.
Learning, again, our history and seeing things in a new light.
Taking responsibility, first, for ourselves.