My first time

My first time was as a soldier.

Until that day I had not experienced real shooting. True - they fired at our vehicles several times when they entered one city or another, but when you drive in a protected vehicle, you have a deja vu of throwing candy at a bar mitzvah.

I did not shoot first, far from it.
I stood behind the zig, one of the friends was kneeling on my moment. Suddenly we hear a volley of 5-6 bullets. After a second millionth we hear and hear splashes on the ground a meter to our right.

This was the first time I realized that the other side was really trying to kill me. Until that day, all the statements about "taking down terrorists" were stigmas for me (since the terrorists I met until then were "disciplined" or at least it seemed). It was a combat technique, almost automatic, but almost just for luck. They arrive at the house, close, throw a few stun grenades, the wanted person comes out, they handcuff him and take him to jail. Policing ...

I think every fighter in my team dismantled a cartridge at least for the terrorist. The range was fifteen feet.
I shot six bullets. I did not need more than that.

I wondered what had caused that terrorist (which was not our target) to go out and shoot at us when he knew the consequences of his actions.
If we had come to stop him - well, the resistance is understandable. In any case, if an ambush is already underway, is not it worthwhile to invest in planning and implement it properly?

These failures and those that followed did not change anything in my life or my world view in the foreseeable future. With the understanding that this was something routine-the mishaps with an armed man. Full understanding, or at least the trigger that made me begin to understand what reality I live in. Came only a few weeks later, when one of our guys was wounded. I did not participate in this activity. In fact, I was no longer in the unit (I went to the KKL), and I went to visit him at the hospital. I remember the last thing he said to me, "I did not believe the son of a bitch would hurt me." We did not talk too much. There were too many people, reporters, family members and heads of state who came to wish our brave soldier a speedy recovery.

I smiled at him and left.

I went home later ... and remembered what I had been through the last two or three months of my life.

We must not rely on the 'belief' that the son of a bitch on the other side will not hurt us. Moreover, we should not think that any other act of the other side makes sense. The moment you are pushed into a corner (the same sinister feeling that the other side is so proud of and has become a flag for its struggle), you can do anything. Many commanders and soldiers are mistaken in analyzing the Palestinian enemy as a common enemy in terms of planning, fighting, and moral codes.

No, it's not dehumanization, it's the truth. Once a person is cornered, he will not behave like a person, but as an animal.

He left for me to stand at the checkpoint. To meet the same Israeli policy that supposedly "pushes the Palestinians into a corner." The central 'trigger' for all the beauty of the mind is the growing problem of terrorists.

I also went out to meet the Watsh women, and a few other organizations as a checkpoint commander.
I have one thing to say to you, you bastards. If your son is killed, how much more so. You're scornful of him the moment you do that. No matter what happened, under what circumstances and by blame for who the whole unfortunate story is.
My policy regarding the women of Watch was very simple. As soon as they arrive, I show them the line marked as a border for the passage of civilians and say to them in the most polite way in the world, "Good morning / afternoon, if you pass this line - once, take pictures or talk to my soldiers. And theirs was over. Most of them did not dare cross the line or talk / disturb the soldiers.
In any case, they have a hateful site in which they write all their operational logs. A meticulous observation log - date, time, place and description of the checkpoint. When I came home, I would come in and read what they wrote about me.

How can one pass a day at a checkpoint where 5,000 people pass without problems? Every day, something new.
As one who understood that the behavior of IDF soldiers at checkpoints is one of the reasons for stability in the area, I believe that when we are dealing with such a central checkpoint, Like me and you, not terrorists.

The memory of my first time and the doubts that followed her ... I will never forget.