Welcome to Beastly Tales. Each has a message, a moral. All are meant to have an element of humour. Naturally, any names included do not depict real folk but are included as part of the joke.
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(As with Beastly Banter Beastly Tales is written and illustrated by Richard Hersel.)
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Richard Hersel
BEASTLY TALES
THE AIR TRAVELLER
Air Travel used to be elegant, “special” you’d feel,
Nowadays there’s little excellence or appeal,
The discomfort begins in the airport security line,
Designed to prevent you from ever feeling fine.
Tersely x-ray’d and patted down,
By some bad mannered security clown.
When, at last you reach your departure gate,
You soon realize you are exceedingly late
As you are herded steadfastly aboard,
Your boarding pass, in your hand, is clawed
The stewardess points in the direction of your seat,
“It’s so crowded”, you forlornly bleat.
“Stewardess, this child is energetically kicking”,
“The back of my seat, he needs a good licking”.
“I’ve got my belt, I can do it right now”,
The stewardess just raised her eyebrow.
Stewardess replied, “Don’t be such a whimp”,
“Or next time I’ll seat you in front of a chimp”.
The seats are so narrow with thin arm rests,
And the other passengers are smelly pests.
One knew, only too well,
That it was useless to press service bell.
You’d like a coffee, or perhaps a tea,
Can’t you at least bring something for me.
And there is something of significant note,
You have a sore, very dry throat,
I’d be grateful if you would be aware,
This is something developed since being in the air.
The stewardess said, “sorry, the seat belt sign is lit”,
“You’ll just have to sit and wait a bit”.
“But we have only just taken off”,
“You must have something for me to scoff”.
Business class on International flights,
Is significantly better, but prepare for frights.
At the high prices that are charged today
Most passengers in there get their companies to pay
There was First Class in the days of yore
But for that you’d pay even more
The passenger in Coach Class we observe right now,
Solid in build and heavy in brow,
Is perhaps a little too wide.
To be able to readily fit inside.
Between the arm rests of his minuscule seat
And the seat in front did cramp his feet
His name was Oswald Quisling,
And he was given to grizzling,
About the most appalling guff,
This and that, almost any old stuff.
Now the stewardess demonstrated the safety plan
Outlining what you can’t do, and what you can.
And to inject a further element of thrill
Accentuated the Emergency Exit drill.
If you decide you’d like a drink,
Scotch the idea, don’t even think,
That stewards would attempt such folly,
As to try to manoeuvre the drinks trolley,
Down the crowded, slender aisle,
To serve out beverages to people vile.
So an alcohol anaesthetic is not available,
And as the food is in no sense craveable,
There’s nothing else to do but sit and read,
And hope the aircraft might increase it’s speed.
The toilets could only raise your bile,
Nothing there to make you smile.
Said Oswald, “when I booked I ordered a Vegan meal”,
“And you bring me an orange still in it’s peel”.
“There’s little room for one’s legs to stretch”,
“And the measly food is enough to make one retch”.
“So the next time I travel may well be by sea”
“There I’ll have room and a decent tea!”
my dear beastly ...i laughed so much reading this one!!!....you have just described my flight-experience.... it is just the same all the times and i'm flying a lot...just sucks as you described!!!!
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Thanks for your thoughts we have all experienced the deterioration of air travel.
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Interesting way to protest, very well done, travel so it hits, so his post made me smile for the way it was written thanks for it, it is also an art to express the discomfort, greetings that this very well
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Very nice piece of poetry you've created
Reading it makes me feel most elated
An upvote coming from me you deserve
Also, you are welcome to set foot on my turf
Coming back I will to read some more
It's easy to the eye, not at all a chore
Bidding my farewells I will do now therefore
And I do hope that your day will be anything but a bore
Wanted to give this whole poetry thing a try as well.
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Thanks for the upvote and nice poetry.
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Glad you liked it. I should actually read and write poetry a bit more often. Think it's good for brain.
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"The toilets could only raise your bile", the way you word your poems are so funny. This one has so much truth to it.
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So you've flown too.
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Hahaha another amusing poem. I'm not used to travel by plane, in fact I only traveled like that once when I was a kid, but I suppose it can be stressing.
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A very wonderful poem you've got here. The story telling mixed with cute poetic expressions has sure made my day.
Thanks for sharing @beastlybanter
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You can describe any incident in a poem, Such a wonderful piece of art.
Happy Writing
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