BEASTLY TALES

THE LIBRARIAN

Emily Crudshaw was librarian at Gawkington,
A village in Glastonbury where the Twee River does run,
It was a library not large, in fact quite small,
But considered the best, as it was the only one at all.
It was a job most serious for Emily,
She didn’t even stop for morning tea,
But because most villagers did not read,
It meant she never worked at full speed.

One reader, who made a frequent call,
Was Albert Krupp who she did enthral.
He would say, “How are you my dear?”
At first she thought he may be a bit queer.
But as more time did pass by,
She realized he was formal as he was shy.
They decided that on Sunday, a picnic they’d go.
Walking in the countryside, nice and slow.
They came to a river and sat on the bank,
And together, a cup of tea they drank.

They continued this on a regular basis,
The river bank became their own oasis.
One day their sandwiches gave him indigestion,
But, nevertheless he still popped the question.
“Oh, Albert,” she responded a little perturbed,
“This is a surprise, I’m somewhat disturbed.”
She recalled that, at the library, there was a book
That might assist her, she’d take a look.
“So Albert,” she continued, “I need time to think.”
“Perhaps we should go back to have a drink.”
“We’ve only been stepping out, about a year.”
“I don’t want us to rush things, my dear.”
Albert said, “But I’m sixty years old,”
“Unless we act soon, I may not be so bold,”
“It’s all right for you, you’ve still got your looks.”
“And you still seemed to be tied to your books.”

Emily, next day, opened the library early,
She felt herself to be in a mood somewhat surly.
She had to find just the book to inform,
The book had to advise her of the norm,
For handling such a delicate situation,
Yes, for someone with a librarian’s station.
She came across a yellow book, “Love for Dummies,”
This must be the one for intending chummies.
She now turned to page sixty four,
And what she read made her jaw hit the floor,
It said, “If you are uncertain of love,”
“Don’t hold back, give the bounder the shove!”
And next time Albert crossed the library yard,
Emily had cancelled his Library Card.