this is a self portrait I did on Christmas Eve of this year. It was done during a state where I was having major religious delusions given the holiday season. It is how I picture Jesus views me. As a joker or clown almost terrifying but innocently charged. Grotesque is how I feel when I can clearly sense Jesus eyes upon me. On the left side you can clearly see a spirit talking into my ear telling me not to worry to just know they understand I can't help seeing things I should not. That the blood on my right side will be cleansed upon death by Jesus's blood. The portrait is hidden on the back of this plaque I have hanging in my kitchen: 
it is what I inspire to be like regarding my domestic duties and religion. 1950s yes but when I can I want to be like the women who owned the plaque before me (having got it from a thrift store) and less like the women on the back. My family has never seen the portrait and will probably find it many years from now. I intentionally hide it for them to find as like an Easter egg.
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