Chainsaws!
Wonderful chainsaws.
They're not just for cutting down trees, you know.
The first time I ever met someone like you, I'll never forget how long I spent on limb removal.
I've come a long way since then. No more sleepless nights with the meat cleaver for me! Gosh. If I had my way, I'd ban calcium, because those strong bones of yours are nearly IMPOSSIBLE!
But the chainsaw. Now that's a nice piece of machinery there. I even splurged recently and bought a nice new battery powered unit.
No more noise!
And I can't wait to see how well it works on you.
Does the tape hurt? Can you breathe? That's good.
We certainly don't want you to die from natural causes like suffocation now do we?
I asked you a question!
Silly me.
How could I forget.
I've seen so many people that look like you with the tape on the their face like that. Sometimes I forget you can't say anything.
But isn't this fun!
One blink for yes.
Two blinks for no.
I call it sign language — for people without hands!
Isn't this exciting!
Don't worry. The pain will go away once I finish the job.
My mother used to cook the most wonderful breakfasts when I was a young boy.
We'd have pancakes and waffles and toast and bacon and those little sausages that look just like your toes!
My kitties love toes.
Can you see how fat they are?
Cute! Aren't they!
Yes.
I call this one, Sir Eats A Lot.
He ate an entire family physician all to himself and that was before he got his name.
I'm so proud of him.
Mother was in a hospital seven hours away. I had just finished burning my name into the man's forehead with my cigarette when I got the call. I quickly snapped his neck, packed my bags, and went on an adventure TO THE BIG CITY!
I was gone for a few weeks and when I came home, Sir Eats A Lot was sitting proud like the good kitty he is, waiting patiently.
And there was no mess for me to clean up!
Just a few bones here and there.
I was expecting a big stink!
He's such a good boy...
But, you.
You've been naughty.
Was this your first time being catfished?
Were you shocked to see me instead of her when I opened that door?
I don't look anything like the picture, do I?
Did you think I was her father?
I told you I was only fourteen.
Why were you trying to hook up with a fourteen year old girl you met on the internet!
You piece of shit!
You're the third one this week, pervert!
My freezer is full.
Here kitty kitty kitty kitty.
Here kitty kitty kitty kitty.
Here kitty kitty kitty kitty.
I loved this .......gave me goosebumps and laughed and was shocked all at once. If something triggers an emotion it is a good thing......
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This one strikes just the right chords. Kept it simple and made sure it flows from one thing to the next as well. There was a fair sized chunk of material I removed from here and there. I'm glad I did.
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@nonameslefttouse at his finest! I absolutely cannot sit through a horror movie but I love your candid and reflective murderers. lol
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The darkest of dark humor is my shadow.
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The other word is nonchalant, you know, like you could be talking about gardening and your new flower bed, and slip into the conversation that there is a body under it. lol
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I wonder how many people have answered yes to that first question. I'd also question leaving those poor cats home by themselves for weeks on end but I guess if you're leaving out plenty of water and food and they know to ration it out.
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I'm thinking there's at least three people out there who answered yes, but that's a guess and also a random number I just pulled out of my ass.
Those cats are some of the healthiest in the neighborhood.
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I don't wanna die so early... Uhh.. Oh wait, Halloween is coming... Hmm...
To be honest my heart is so weak to handle this.. 🤣🤣🤣 I am out.. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
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By the way, I left the last part... I have to run away before my heart stop functioning... Lolll
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What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger! I thought about putting a warning in the headline but at the same time, I wanted to catch people off guard, since that's the best way to get a genuine reaction. Was it too much? LOL!
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For me three much.. Specially , I was thinking saw movie and had a vision of those horrible psychiatric things.. But I am okay still now.. Not dead yet.. 🤣🤣🤣
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I was going for something crazier than Saw. I think I may have achieved that.
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Ya you did...
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My aunt on her dairy farm used to give all the stray cats a big pan of milk every morning. This is the same concept...but a little different.
Pretty sure Murderous Myron is already dead, based on his looks. He might actually be what the grim reaper looks like from within the black cloak.
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LOL! Yes. That's exactly the same but slightly different.
Murderous Myron might be what the Grim Reaper and Uncle Fester adopted two months before the divorce. But which one is mother?
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I think Myron might be a bit like Frankenstein. He just calls them both "master". I definitely see a bit of both Grim's and Fester's body parts in that guy. I do hope they stop with the custody battle. I hear Myron has been extra murderous lately.
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Yeah, I can see that happening. The fighting never ends though.
Murderous Myron has been working overtime. I'm also thinking I can use this character for so much more.
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my you are a morbid fellow, chopping things up and whatnot. do you play chess? how about intrigue?
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I love chess. It's one of my favorite games and I have not lost a match against a human since the 90's.
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rut roh... a worthy opponent!
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Hi bud! To be honest, it's the first article of yours I've read.
I haven't seen similar content on Steemit before, your content is a bit... morbid? But in the end I was entertained reading it, it reminds me when I read creepypastas haha. I wanted to ask you: Do you have Discord? Can I chat with you privately? I want to propose something to you and hear your opinion of it. Thank you! Hope you're good :)
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Hey! Thanks for finally checking things out.
This was quite dark, yes, but something like this isn't the only trick up my sleeve. Entertainment is the goal.
Unfortunately, I don't use Discord. I check the local Steem Chat thing at least once per day. Same name as here. Other than that, this entity doesn't talk much outside of this place.
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Move along.... Nothing to see here.
Halloween is coming.
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Cleanup in aisle three! Bring the big mop!
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A coupe of years ago I murdered a series of people and was thinking I should resurrect one for showcase Sunday. Perhaps I will pick up where I left off.
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That would be great! I've been planning to do a few horror/insanity stories from now until Halloween, and of course more later. I have a few old ones I might resurrect as well.
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A freezer fill of poor quality meat but a fine freezer. A conundrum!
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I'm going to need another freezer.
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First they said Sir Scratch A Lot is a tough cat to book and now this.
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Sir Mix A Lot is the one that smears everything all over the floor.
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Sir Mix A Lot is
The one that smears everything
All over the floor.
- nonameslefttouse
I'm a bot. I detect haiku.
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You mean, like this?
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LOL! Yes. Just like that.
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When their humans die, dogs will wait until they’re really hungry.
When their humans die, cats start eating right away.
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Cats will fight over it as well. Some have to sit and watch.
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I'd watch the adaptation of this dark AF comedy on Netflix, 100%. 😱
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