ATHEISM HAS CHANGED MY LIFE.

When I say that atheism has totally changed my life I am talking about my way of seeing life my way of perceiving the world around me. It's been quite a short time since the very first moment I started thinking about this topic but my knowledge about it's huge.
I was a ''normal'' ''regular'' young man with his little but great thoughts in mind trying to become a engineer in industrial instrumentation but I failed so hard because I realize that I wasn't good for that. Too much oil for me in that job area and I said well I am not this guy no more.
Then I jumped into thinking about register in my local university to study Electronic Engineering, and for a crazy reason I didn't even got in their system even though I gave him all my information properly.
I was so amazed about what happened with the university and from then on I've been without going to any university.
About 10 or 11 months ago I met this guy who was the greatest friend that I could have ever met. He opened my mind in a way where I could be able to understand more things and he help me to overcome so may fears that I had in the past that I now remember them and I feel silly.
I am going to talk about him later because he's an important piece of my conversion into hard atheism.
When he made me think about this, I was like protecting my beliefs in some way that I couldn't let them go that easily and I said well, what do you think about this? that was pretty much my only question until he would ask me, what do YOU think about this? and I was just speechless because it was a topic that I didn't have any knowledge about.
I was a long process because I was so afraid about God and what he would ever do to me. I was thinking that if I ever get to think differently from other people he would kill me so hard and without any kind of mercy.
I would wake up in the morning thinking about it, and saying things like god where are you? where aren't you showing yourself to me? what am I doing? why am I thinking that you don't exist if I FEEL you in me (I was so naive by that time).
And I thought it was just a part of me being a bad person for not believing in him. I kept seeing my brand new friend that he was also trying to believe too.....we were trying to believe which was what killed our faith entirely, we would to the church together (maybe because we were bored in our own houses, I don't know)
But one day I stepped into the church and he was like super into the Lord. I got very impressed because I was feeling bad because he was that one friend that I could count to not believe in god and there he was kinda praying to the Lord so hard and I got I little bit scared and confused about him. and this is just how it got started my process of converting into atheism. There is a long way up ahead.