Am I being too hard on my son? 🤔🤔🤔

in attitude •  7 years ago  (edited)

Hey friends,

My teenager son is looking to buy his first car to go to school and his part time job at the martial art studio...

We told him long time ago there are no free rides in our home...

So he's been saving to buy his own car while doing his research on internet about prices etc...

We will help him as much as he wants to help himself, so we are going to pay 50%.

He will have to cover all the expenses after he gets his car...

It's not about the money, but about the principal...

I think by teaching him young how to hustle for what he wants, he will start from the bottom and be able to climb in life.

Am I being to hard or fair enough with him?

What do you think?

IMG_4726.JPG

Animated signature .gif

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  

lulita - I am with you 100%. I have a 22 year old and we took the the same attitude throughout his teens and I think it has paid off. If you keep giving them everything they will never learn how to be an independent adult and become accustomed to having everything handed to them. Stick with your instincts.

Yes, I'm looking for his long term independence...

I definitely say fair. Not too many kids know the value of a dollar now a days. It is a good life lesson. Nice thinking! :)

Thank you. He is wise with his money... Every paycheck he gets he distributes into 3 categories: investing, saving and spending.

Smart man! You have learned him well! Lol.

He has this habit created already, so I think he will do well in the future...

Definitely going to agree with you on that! Maybe he'll be rich and he can take care of you some day. Lol.

That's his plan. LOL

Good. You'll have a.... sugar son?? Lol

My sugar son? LOL

Coming from a 16 year old that was given a car I would say that this is fair. My parents bought me a car (or you can say gave me a car) and that does not allow me to learn how much work and effort it wouldve been to get my car. BUT since I buy silver and spend most of my money on silver my mom thought that I should use my money to buy silver and save for my future instead of buying a car that I can use during High School.

Thanks. He buys silver too with his investing money.

You're definitely being fair and what a great life lesson!

Thanks

I also believe you are fair, spoiled kids do not do well in life when left alone.

I think like that too.

You are not only being fair, you are doing what good parents do. My son is 14 and I'm teaching him to save up for and hustle for what he needs/wants too.

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

The earlier they start, the better habits they will create...

Fair and better to make mistakes at that age then huge costly ones when he is out on his own these are times of learning. I would also recommend showing the importance of sticking money away form each paycheck that is never touched till you retire. Trust me when he can retire at the age of 45 or 40 instead of 62 hes going to be much happier then some new car speakers in his new car lol just my two cents :D

He is onto that already... Every paycheck he gets, he allocates different % into 3 categories: Investing, saving and spending.

That is awesome! he is going to thank you for that when he is older trust me I wish my parents would have beat it into me instead of me finding out later :D

Me too. LOL

I'm not a parent but when I was younger buying my first car my parents did something similar. Only difference being what they paid I paid them back for. I always imagined that when/if I have children I would do much the same. As you said its about learning responsibility. As long as your son knows the why of it I don't think you're being too hard on him at all. But that's just my 2 cents from a non parent.

Thank you. I appreciate sharing your experience.

The more her works for the thing he has the more he will appreciate them. I'm 20 year old with a passion for cycling and I've bough my bikes with the money I've worked for, an attitude of gratitude is the way to go. He's lucky for the 50% help! :)

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

He didn't know about the 50% help until recently, so he is super pumped because his car is closer than he expected...

Agreed, I did the 50/50 with my oldest and even do similar on gas money. If it is for driving to school, I pitch in. If it is out with friends driving, that's on her dime.

Gas money is all on him as well as maintenance etc
He can have anything he wants as long as he can afford it.

Hi lulita, I'm 22 and only got my first car last year. I was free to use my parents car before then (If they weren't using it) so I could get around, but I always had to ask. And I think that is right. You have to learn that nothing in life will be given to you on a silver platter when you want. You have to wait, but more than that you have to work for it! He'll appreciate it one day!

Thank you for your comment. I think he will...

He will never learn to be independent if he depends on you. He needs to learn that he needs to support himself, and that mommy won't always be around to fill his pocket. Props to you for helping him with his car, that's more help than most children in the world would get from their parents.

You are right.

Beautiful son! He reminds me of my son. I think it's a good idea because you also help him to buy the car!

Yes, he is learning to be a grown up.

Sounds good. To help as much as he is willing to help himself seems a valuable lesson, moreso than the coin.

Thank you. He is learning...

Nyc pic

He loves fishing...

Mee too

It's alright, speaking from a 25 years old guy. It's fair because you're already paying 50% of it. If your son knows the value earning money and working hard already, it would be good to help if you can afford. If you could give what your son needs, why not?

  ·  7 years ago (edited)

Thank you! Yes, he has a part time job at a martial art studio for almost a year already!

Comment signature.gif

Then that's good, let him know that you're helping him out with the 50% and you don't have to but you choose to. He'll appreciate it much.

Thank you.