Why Autism isn't a 'gift'

in autism •  7 years ago  (edited)

I've been camping this weekend in the gorgeous New Forest on the south coast of England. Horses, cattle & pigs run free throughout the 200 square mile national park (it was originally a royal hunting park), and it's very popular for campers, cyclists & other outdoor pursuit type things.

On Saturday my daughter & I had collected some flat stones from a nearby beech to skim on the little lake in our campsite. However the lake (pond really!) was being 'guarded' by a peculiar little boy of maybe 7 or 8 years old dressed in a pair or filthy grey shorts. He'd approached us when we were at the pond on the Friday night, but had been called away by his father before I'd gotten a good look at him. On Saturday however we got the whole performance.

He threw gravel & dirt at my legs & then proceeded to spit on me. I asked him to stop, but realised quickly that this was having no effect! We moved further & further around the pond away from him & eventually he stopped persuing us. Then I watched as he approached a little boy who'd arrived & gave him the same treatment. This appeared to be his way of interacting with people. From his behaviour it seemed that he was non-verbal & I'm not sure how much he could comprehend as he gave no indication of having heard me earlier. I left feeling sad for both him & his father.

Which brings me to the 'autism is a gift' bullshit you hear around the place. What about this situation was a gift? He wasn't 'quirky', he was a severely disabled boy who's going to need life long care.

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It may not be a gift to "our world", but I've never experienced another person's consciousness, so I can't say whether the experience is pleasant or not.

I know that there are times when I become very reserved and non-verbal, I've never been tested nor do I care to ever do it, but I probably rate fairly high on the Asperger's scale. I'm aware in these moments that people can feel uneasy around me and, at times, I will even feel a bit awkward about it.

But, even in those moments, I feel tremendous peace within me. I feel absolutely WONDERFUL, content, even blissful. So, while I may appear to others to be "extremely introverted" or "moderately autistic", inwardly, I wouldn't even think for a second to trade my experiences for another persons'.

I feel BLESSED. Absolutely blessed.

Thank you for replying jb. You are right of course.... there's a whole big spectrum out there, with most of the male population somewhere on it (myself included)!

I think lumping the quirky, the introverted, aspergers etc in with severe autism, or mental illness etc has been a bad thing. They are clearly NOT the same thing.

Celebrate the quirks, the freaks, the geeks.... but not the disabled, those in constant pain or unable to live without carers. We need compassion for them & to heal them if possible.

Celebrate the quirks, the freaks, the geeks.... but not the disabled, those in constant pain or unable to live without carers. We need compassion for them & to heal them if possible.

Well said. I agree.

Why would anyone even think autism is a gift... I've seen people "having no life" because of autism and its pitiable.

While I can clearly see that people with autism are able to live a full and happy life, I do feel it is a 'gift' I would choose to not give to my children if I had the choice. Great views from post and comments here.

Yes, it's really just down to bad definitions - describing MANY completely separate things as 'autism'.

I think autism as a gift might relate to autism itself but not the behaviour that you are talking about. A lot of autistic children demonstrate pretty challenging behaviour but then they are trying to deal with a pretty intense situation inside their heads and it is most likely that which is making them angry or distressed.

To generalise is crazy and using the work autism is similar to using the word childhood, no 2 children are the same... nor are any 2 autistic people.

In an individual who has been helped to deal with the difficulty of linking outside reality to inside reality then you may indeed have something wonderful. Hard work though!!