(Image Courtesy of Pinterest)
Some things that people say about Autism have both shocked me and made me feel sick to my stomach since joining this particular parenting "club".
That being said, I think that genuine questions are great and I love answering them.
Still, I have to admit there are comments and statements that cause me to bite my tongue so hard that it bleeds and today I felt especially inspired to write a post about them. Here are my absolute pet peeves as a mom who loves her son (who sees the world a little bit differently than everyone else), with all my heart.
Pet Peeve #1- People who prey on vulnerable families to make a few bucks. These people have learned that there's money in taking advantage of parents who are often desperate enough to try just about anything to try to do something that they think will help their child, even if it means doing something like.....encouraging parents to have their children drink bleach.
https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/jul/13/fake-cures-autism-prove-deadly
What they're selling isn't even evaluated by any medical body so forget about any insurance coverage.
Pet Peeve #2- Scare Tactics. Any organization/person (Autism Speaks cough, cough) who tells you that your life or your marriage is over because one of your children has gotten an autism diagnosis from a doctor is out of their mind. Remember that they don't know you or your family.
(Courtesy of Find Yaser on YouTube)
Every person in the world faces their own difficulties in life. Some challenges are harder than others, but much can be improved with acceptance and understanding.
I'm not a fan of any method that uses fear to spread "awareness." I think that fear being used as a marketing tool is especially heinous.
Pet Peeve #3- Studies that Announce How Mom is to Blame. Nearly every week a study is released, and is quickly picked up by the MSM media claiming to have discovered the underlying cause for autism. 9 out of 10 times, it's something that the mother did at some point along the line.
A few that I've seen:
-Mom is too cold (refrigerator moms)
-Mom is too coddling ( the kid needs
toughening up)
-Vaccines
-Chem Trails
-Mom did "something wrong" when pregnant
-Not enough discipline
Pet Peeve # 4- "I don't know how you do it" and the related "I wouldn't be able to handle that"
My answer to both those statements are that you learn.
Pet Peeve #5- "Is he/she high or low functioning?"
I totally hate how they removed Asperger's Syndrome as a diagnosis when updating with the DSM 5 test for Autism back in 2013. Instead, everyone is now lumped under the same Autism umbrella regardless of the vast array of differences that exist within the same condition.
http://www.davidsongifted.org/Search-Database/entry/A10842
Personally, I'm tired of being asked the question, "Can he talk?". I try to not roll my eyes at the 1000th time it's asked.
Pet Peeve #6- Child Protective Services tries to run your life. This is a scary one but it has happened to me. The scenario occurs when your child starts exhibiting autistic behaviours either in public or at school and "so-called" well meaning teachers or individuals in society-at-large call on you to the authorities in order to "assist" with your parenting. You then have to call child psychologists at over $200 an hour to have your kid's head examined along with this therapy and that government association or parent support group. This pet peeve ends up being very quickly associated with pet peeve #1 above. Autism is a business and a very lucrative one. The aim is to harass and bully the parents to either be a part of the Autism therapy hamster wheel under the threat of losing their child(ren).
Needless to say that I homeschool now.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-wales-40717652
Pet Peeve #7- Your child is not able to show empathy and will grow up to be an axe-murderer, lone gunman shooter etc.
I recently saw this tweet about the Florida school shooter
People with Autism not only have empathy but tend to feel it in the extreme sense. They normally only hurt others when either in fear or feel threatened. Instead of blaming the FBI who had advanced warning of the potential shooting or the pharmaceuticals that the individual was taking, we instead blame autism.
Pet Peeve #8- Anyone who Talks About Autism and Eugenics in the Same Breath. I'm not sure how much I can elaborate on this one without breaking off into a rant about how evil this is. It reminds me of the T4 program in Nazi Germany during WWII. It all started through a registry of births. First voluntary, then compulsory and lastly by having the child removed from the home. Does any of this sound familiar?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aktion_T4
If you doubt this is true, try reading articles about this program. You'll find hundreds of pages that will make you physically cringe.
Whenever I hear someone talk about starting a registry either for the autistic person or society at large, I sound the alarm and most people look at me as a conspiracy theorist who should be wearing a tin-foil hat.
Can I tell you how I am grateful that there isn't a prenatal test for autism? I don't even want to think what the "termination" rate would be for those fetuses that come back as potentially being autistic.
In conclusion, if you know someone who has a child with special needs, please take this post as not being harsh but into your heart. We know that most people don’t mean what they say to be disheartening or cruel, but it does hurt. As special needs parents, we can be super protective of our children. We will be spending the rest of our lives both advocating for and fighting for what’s best for our children and others like them. We just want our children to get the same love and respect as “typical” children.
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