ASD and Anger Management!!! Boxing Bag and Mr Blue!!

I would have to say that 90% of the anger expressed in our house here at mumofmany is actually caused more by frustration than any real anger issues.

My boys have an extremely difficult time communicating. Master 7 has selective mutism, Where he chooses not to talk. Usually this occurs during and after high stress situations. It is his coping mechanism for most situations he finds difficult. Unfortunately he can take days to start talking again.

Master 5 has no trouble talking however the words get so mixed up and come out so fast no one has any idea what he is saying. This leads to total meltdown mode and out of all my children, Master 5 is the most uncontrollable, he has limited understanding of his feelings and can’t be reasoned with when he is upset. He often throws and hits things, with no understanding that he could hurt himself or some one else.

Master 10 is a lot like Master 7 only he has a physical inability to speak, he has no control over it. He just can’t talk when placed under to much stress or anxiety. For him as soon as the stresser is removed and he is left alone to calm down he is then able to talk again. He also loses control of his temper when he can’t talk, often hiting himself. He is also the strongest, I have tried and failed to control him physically. It’s just not gonna happen.

Unfortunately the communication problem often leads to a large amount of frustration, not being understood and not being able to communicate basic wants and needs can cause children with ASD to lash out in anger. It’s like an automatic fall back. They reach a certain level and they just become angry at the situation.

This leads to outbursts and screaming and of course physical violence. Although no one has ever seriously been hurt in our family, I can see how easy it is for situations to get out of hand. ASD children are exceptionally strong, they do not understand their own strength nor do they know how to control themselves, especially in the middle of a meltdown.

So we have come up with a system. In the event of an individual anger outburst we bring out Mr Blue!! This $3 inflatable has saved us many times. It allows our boys to have something to hit and throw all without the possibility of them or anyone else being injured. The boys on several occasions had hurt themselves through a fit of rage and since we have introduced Mr Blue we have been free of self injury.

Master 5 also uses it as a sensory device, he likes the feeling of sliding of the side and onto the floor. He hugs it and lays on it and uses it as a pillow, it really was the best $3 I have ever spent. I also have a back up supply of Mr Blue’s just in case. The kids get pretty darn rough with him and I’m not sure how long he will survive.

Our next strategy is more proactive. Every few days the boys take out any built up frustration on the boxing bag. It helps them relieve stress and is so good at wearing them out. It gives them an outlet for their anger that does not involve hitting someone else. Something that happens often here.

It is also a great activity for them to do together, although Master 10 is not a huge fan of boxing with the boys he prefers, like most things to do it on his own. But the little 2 love having a go with each other, a lot of their games at home end up with pretend fighting and it is a fantastic way for me to redirect them to something safer.

It is also great for Master 7 and Master 5 to build core muscle tone. Low muscle tone is something they both suffer from. Boxing works their core muscles and their arms. Even though they are not hitting it correctly, any exercise that uses these muscles is extremely beneficial for them both.

I also use the boxing bag when they are fighting with each other. All three of my boys like to play fight, they can’t help themselves. Although their games usually a start out as harmless fun, it takes all of about 5 minutes before someone gets accidentally hurt and it turns into a full scale fight. So I take them outside and let them kill the boxing bag. Mr Blue would not survive 2 seconds of them both of them so he is reserved for individual meltdowns and used more as a frustration relief.

We have several other strategies in place for anger management, obviously every situation is different and it is not always best to let them just go beat the boxing bag or throw Mr Blue. In some cases this would only escalate the situation and be absolutely no benefit to any one.

I will cover some of our other anger management tips in an upcoming post so keep a look out for it. As always I like to hear what you do in certain situations. If you have any anger management or anger diversion ideas please feel free to share in the comments.

Thanks for reading.

@mumofmany