A Mistress shows no cracks to the world

One of the many roles in my life is that of Mistress. There is allot of history and mystery around the title of Mistress, what does it mean? Who gets to carry the title? Why? Just generally WTF?

Well in the context of my life it centers around the bdsm community and specifically the M/s relationship.
I currently own two subs, hence the two keys hanging from my neck. One of my subs lives with me, the other visits a few days out of the week. There are several aspects to our relationship. While it is complex for sure, I think I can break it down a bit so its more understandable.

Now right here is a good place to add that everything I do is with consent. Consent is central to the Mistress/slave relationship. Consent is sought regularly, safe words are in place and the light system is always used. Just in case you are unfamiliar with the kink community I wanted to make that clear.

The first aspect of our M/s relationship is Dominance.

The definition of Dominance explains that aspect of our relationship. Dominance is defined as Power and influence over others. I believe that this power is exerted in many ways, firstly to ensure the safety and health (mental and physical) of my property. Second, it's used to guide and instruct my property on how to improve in service to me and in life. Third its used to shape punishments and tasks for my property.

The second element is Control. There are many "Dominant" people on this planet. That does not a Mistress make however, there is a real road block to most people when it comes to controlling others, a play time connotation to the orders. That is all well and good for bedroom play or part time submission, or if you think 50 shades of grey is 'neat'.

However, if you are trying to understand how a Mistress exerts control you need to look at the way she comports herself, I issue commands because that is my birthright. I have never considered that my property would disobey me, never questioned my right to command them. I am a Goddess, all of creation obeys me.

I know that seems like allot of ego in a small frame but inside those moments, that is my reality, in my understanding that level of self confidence helps the interaction between me and my subs and carries the control to a deep level. This has been referred to as "sub-space" and I like that term because it aptly describes the state complete control puts a sub into and reminds me of star trek.

So what happens when rules are not followed or orders are disobeyed? There are several things that happen, all of which depends on situation and time. There is allot of focus put onto physical punishments but those are not used for control, control is established long before punishments are handed out.

The third thing a Mistress must carry into the relationship is creativity and drive. I remember everything my property tells me. I map every tick, note diligently likes and dislikes, motivators, blind spots, speech patterns. I assemble all this information, all this gathered knowledge and I construct intricate tasks followed by intricate punishments. I devote hours of planning and often labor into scenarios in the bedroom. I challenge my property, demand improvement in life and in worship of me. A Mistress does not simply sit and point or seek sexual gratification alone. My property serves me well and its for sure lovely but my responsibility to them is to work harder then they do, to ensure that the path is safe before they walk it. Ownership comes with responsibility, there are many forms of Domme, I choose to build people up, I am not one to use humiliation or degradation though I understand why they are important I am just not that Mistress, I take in subs that have been hurt or mistreated and build them up, make sure they get therapy, enforce routine and forward movement.

Its important to note that most Mistresses have sessions and don't acquire live ins. I deal with small numbers and focus on my two to three subs exclusively. No money is involved. We live this way every moment of every day. This level of commitment and intimacy allows space for healing and a safe environment to flourish. This is where creativity helps tremendously, when you have to hold a subs attention for months not minutes you develop technique that is custom to those subs, in time this allows for depth unheard of by most people. This is not a life for everyone. A Mistress is made of Iron and feathers, there are times when gental understanding is called for and times when cold calculated relentless punishment is needed, you must remain above control yourself at all times. Your life must be in order and working, you must be stable and well. A Mistress shows no cracks to the world unless its Rage that drives those cracks to the surface. All of these aspects must be in harmony at all times, plus she must live life and dance and feel joy. To be a Mistress is to care but never allow that care to prevent sadistic punishment for infractions. To hear love in the songs of pain you wrench from your properties body. To be a Mistress is a burden that is alleviated occasionally by worship from your property. It makes me deeply happy.

I am going to leave this here for tonight. I will continue with part two next week.