We want sex, and fear of losing it. Often, however, we behave in such a way that in our life there is no room for real intimacy and the realization of their desires.
- Lie on the true desires
Rare person can speak freely about their sexual preferences and oddities. At heart, we're afraid of disapproval and censure from the society. Sex - it is intimate, but it is surrounded by a fence stereotypes. Feelings of guilt because of the "abnormality", phobia, indifference, aversion and neurosis create a vicious circle, and gradually destroy sex.
Share true desires is difficult even with a very close partner. There is always the fear of being misunderstood.
"Good girls do not do that. Good boys do not think about it. "
What happens in the bedroom, in the confessional of sex, should be the highest act of recognition and encouragement.
- The desire to follow the rules
Why popular fantasies about having sex with nurses and flight attendants? Because sex with a man in the form of breaks the rules, breaks the mold. Every day we have to be right and good: do exercises in the morning, there is a useful porridge, be friendly with colleagues. For the sake of "normality" of suppressed sexual desires.
Occasionally it is useful to be unpredictable and irrational in sex. This, of course, is not about making love during the day at the playground. Not enough to drive themselves into the framework and allow small mischief in the bedroom. Or any other place where you will not see it. Sexual audacity give priceless sense of their own power.
- Marriage
The biological fact is that married couples experience a decrease in sexual desire and frequency of sex. Married difficult to change patterns: it is - everyday life and everyday life, and it is - erotic and sex. Psychologists believe that marriage and raising children is no different from a small control system now. In other words, married, came home from work in the evening, continue to manage and solve the problems, only this time in slippers and dressing gowns. Hence the desire to avoid sex in order not to lose the business spirit and do not forget that still left undone.
Save sex life in marriage openness in discussing the most sensitive issues, the periodic reduction and an increase in the distance between partners, as well as the desire to try new things, to dream, to expand the horizons of sense. Do not be shy, if necessary, seek professional help sexologist or a family psychologist.
Eugene Barmenkov, psychologist, psychotherapist, member of the All-Russian Professional Psychotherapeutic League
Couples should also work on the evening talk. Payment of bills and plans for the weekend - it's great. But while the kids are asleep, you can talk about the plans for the night, and finally put on a suit and nurses play a sex clinic.
- "Not tonight, dear"
This is not just a phrase, it is a blow to the solar plexus. Failures of one of the spouses act on another destructive failures of random people. They undermine the self-esteem and injure the heart. After all, we decided to share a life with this man, and he has a headache again. So he no longer finds us attractive.
- Pigpen in the kitchen
Dumped in the wash dishes, crumbs on the table and burnt frying pan on the stove from anyone beat off the desire to have sex. Couples living together share the life, and with it - and everyday problems, such as prioritization trash removal or cleaning the cat.
Being close is not easy, and this, too, must learn. To find compromises, to share grievances and doubts and to agree on a joint life policies.