Changing people's minds, values and attitudes take time and patience. As we know, a person's view of themselves and how they perceive the world will often be deeply held in their subconscious mind, where logic has no place. As human beings we are naturally social creatures and have an instinctive need to belong, to be of worth, to be accepted as being who we are and that which we are capable of becoming.
So naturally we want to change people and alter their beliefs, attitudes, and values. We want to improve upon them and make them more like us. It is a process of building on the new value with the old one being discarded or forgotten. This can only happen if we first understand our own behavior and our own set of values. We can then begin to change other people's behavior and their attitudes to match our own.
We begin by understanding our own beliefs and values. This will mean that we will need to conduct an affective domain analysis. This will involve asking ourselves questions such as; What do I believe about; Who are my friends; What do I want to be; Why am I the way I am; What is the most important thing to me; How will I know if I'm happy or unhappy. The end result is that once we have an understanding of our own behavioral and affective domains, we are able to alter our own beliefs, attitudes, and values to match the new value that has been discovered.
In discussing North Korea and the issue of change there has been much discussion and debate on whether or not it is possible to change the minds of the citizens in that country through propaganda and re-education. Propaganda by anybody and I mean anybody can be successful as long as they are sufficiently motivated to participate. The problem comes in when you get caught up in the North Korean game and the propaganda becomes too overwhelming and the citizens refuse to believe anything you say. The re-education component cannot help those citizens to stop viewing everything you say as a form of brainwashing. And we cannot have a free society when some citizens are more than willing to re-write the historical truth and fabricate new realities for their own self-interests.
So let's get back to the issue of changing people's behaviors and beliefs and their emotions. It is very possible to influence people through the affects of your words and through your choice of words. For instance, if you hurt somebody, they may hold that against you for life. If you say something hurtful to a person, they will hold it against you forever. But if you use a neutral phrase such as "You are being very negative", then the negative emotion does not have power over you, but the positive emotion does.
One of my favorite quotes is attributed to Luigi Ferrazza. He said, "To change what we think of as wrong, we must change our thoughts of what is right." That is great advice. Now don't expect this transformation to happen overnight, but with consistent effort, anyone can make it work. I know, as a former franchisor district managers and now a life coach, that it does take a strong will, commitment, determination and focus to be able to change people's emotions, behaviors and perspective on life to align with their values, beliefs and emotional reactions.
So, let me ask you this question. Have you ever noticed how often you find yourself agreeing with the complaint of another district manager or business leader, without even really understanding what they are saying? You might say it's because you've been trained to say, "Yes," or, "That's awesome", or, "That's so smart". But, isn't it, at least in part, you're agreeing with them because you have been taught to do so? In other words, if you want to know how to change people's emotions and behaviors, you have to be able to bring them around to see the difference between what you believe in and what they believe in.
Changing people's beliefs and feelings about themselves and their own value system and reality can be difficult, because they tend to reject new beliefs and emotions. But, if you can focus on bringing them around to seeing and evaluating what is in their best interest, instead of what is only going to benefit them, you will change their thinking and their actions. That's the power of the affective domain. And you do not need a PhD to implement this approach. What I have outlined here, if you put it into practice, will give you the result you desire.
