💠Being Real #3 : My Family Construction💠

ashleykalila (61) in beingreal • 7 years ago

being real 3.png

Being Real is a sort-of contest where people comment the things about themselves that make them special.
And in return, we all find out that we ALL have weird things, strange habits and whatnot and that even though we are individuals, we are all pretty much the same, just in different ways!

So now let's get to it!

Being Real #3 : My Family Construction

Woah. The way my family is put together is a bit weird.
And I know I am not the only once (hence this post).

So here we go:

My mother lives in another country and I am very close with her. She lives together with my stepfather whom I think is a totally great guy!
My father lives around the corner from my house but because he doesn't like the fact that I still spend time with my stepmother (and a host of other things) and gets angry at me because of it, I decided I don't want that kind of negativity in my life so we don't see each other. He seems to think that he made that decision but in reality that's not the truth.
I told him that I only want people in my life that have a relationship with me based in truth, honesty and love and until he is able to do that, he won't be a part of my life.
I have a half brother that is a couple of months older than me whom I didn't know about until I was 9 years old (That's a story for another time). He is the whole reason I am into crypto!
I have lots of family members on my mother's side but alas we don't see eachother due to several things but especially because of addictions and grudges and whatnot.

My actual real family are my friends.
I have quite a few girl friends whom I consider sisters and I feel lucky enough to call a few male friends my brothers.

And my boyfriend is my immediate family.
His family (there are quite a few of them) have become my family and I feel very very close to some of them.

So my blood family is important but my friendfamily plays an extremely crucial role in my life.
Without them, I wouldn't be me.

What is your family construction like?

Tell us!

BIG love,

Ashley

Made by the wonderful @overkillcoin who is TOTALLY amazing and you should follow RIGHT now!

My LoveProject is @humansofsteemit! Featuring the humans behind the Steemit usernames!

beingreal contest steemit life family

7 years ago by ashleykalila (61)

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svensugars (37) · 7 years ago

Very cool initiative! This way one might actually learn something about someone else they didn’t know before :D

I come from a very closed family. We don’t hug, kiss (which is a Dutch tradition) or say that we love each other. Although I do feel I am close with my parents and my younger brother we don’t express this. This has always been this way and had accepted this. So for expression of closeness and love I would turn to my friends and saw them as more of a family at some point.

Then 9 moths ago I left my home country to go travel the world. My parents dropped me off at the airport. I think I gave my mother a short hug and my father shook my hand. I haven’t really spoken to my dad since nor my younger brother for that fact. All communication goes strictly trough my mum. She is my mother but also a best friend. When we talk on the phone I sometimes hear my dad making noise in the background. Which is my main indicator that he is alive and well. For my younger brother I usually have to ask what’s going on.

But one time I strongly felt the need to tell them I loved them. So I wrote them a letter (on actual paper) to tell them how I was doing and that I loved them. To which my mother replied with a letter saying she loved me too. Which was for the first time since I can remember. I could have exploded with happiness!!

Even though we don’t say we love each other out loud I know it’s all good under the hood. Especially with my father and brother I know we don’t have to say much and with my mother I know I can tell her and say anything.

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ashleykalila (61) · 7 years ago

Wow Sven.

Thank you for being so open about this.

What a beautiful gesture to write a letter saying how much you love them!

This little story makes my heart bloom open with love!!!

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1 vote

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connecteconomy (71) · 7 years ago

Oh thanks for sharing. Nice to see a wave of authenticity making the rounds on Steemit :) I tagged you in a similar post the other day, did you notice? :)

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2 votes

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ashleykalila (61) · 7 years ago

Yes
Authenticity is THE way to go!

I will do it soon! :) :)

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senorcoconut (66) · 7 years ago

Wow this is very honest and open! Nice one @Ashleykalila...I might join in this one soon.

Everyone I think has something along these lines in there blood family. Hopefully your Dad can cone to his senses and you can be happy together again (without negativity).

You still see your step-mom a lot?

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ashleykalila (61) · 7 years ago

Yeaaa

Tell your story :)

To be honest, I have let go of the idea of that happening.

There are no expectations to be had anymore!

Not that much because she lives abroad but I do speak to her quite often.
We are close :)

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senorcoconut (66) · 7 years ago

I have a bit of a backlog of the things I want to do now....(on steemit)! But I should get around to it soon enough.

I'm happy you're close to her at least.

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maverickinvictus (64) · 7 years ago

Thank you for sharing that little tidbit. I hope that your dad sees past this and make an adjustment.

I come from a Human Resources background and one part of my career that I really love is employee engagement and motivation. I like going around the office and talking to people. Of course not everyone responds well and some are put off and guard themselves because they feel that I might be fishing for issues or whatever they say may be used against them.
I couldn't blame them because previous people that held my post were not exactly motivators but more of terminators for management. I knew that I needed a lot of time and relationship building before they can even start trusting me. But those daily rounds going to each floor, trying to remember over 400 people and knowing that if they needed help they can always go to me. I was happy when I saw traction and I loved the people and what I was doing. However bad things happen to good people.

That was when I entered Steemit. I was not OK, I had the worst episode of depression. I was angry, embittered and depressed to weariness that there would be days that I could not even stand up from bed.

Then I got into @steemitfamilyph. They knew each other personally. They were siblings, cousins and classmates and they took in a complete stranger in their midst. I didn't have anything to offer and my writing at that point was pretty self centered and miserable. All it showed was my pain. Yet slowly as I began to know them my outlook check changed. I grew to look forward to our chats and as we grew in number my writing reflected a change in wanting to engage, mentor and educate them so that they can be successful.
A lot of them treat me like an older brother and heed my advice and say how thankful they are that I am guiding them when in fact I should be thanking them. They made me feel loved, cheirshed and part of their family. They made me Ohana even though I am stranger.
In Ohana they made me remember who I was before being broken. They made me remember to smile and mentor people. They made me remember that even if I can't draw to save my life, sing or dance which makes me doubt if I am truly Filipino haha or write well that my greatest talent lies in engagement and motivating people.
I wrote a post about being a role model but they are my rolemodels. They have saved me from the abyss and I will always be thankful.