Good morning, Steemit! How could I not love Steemit!
The answer should be obvious, but if you remain oblivious, I shall explain it to you in detail.
Steemit is a revolutionary social media platform where mediocrity finally pays!
That's right! Were you born stupid? Devoid of any talent? Are you generally bad at life? No one will hire you? But your mom keeps telling you you're special, you should believe in yourself and you will succeed, right?
Well, we now have just the thing for you!
On Steemit, you can finally live out your wildest dreams of being talented and worth something.
Yes, it's an illusion, but so were your girlfriend's good looks when you met her drunk as a duck.
I'm thankful for Steemit because on Steemit, someone like me with a completely mediocre at best skill set, mediocre at best looks, mediocore at best social skills, mediocore at best intellect, mediocore at best everything imaginable can finally post shit on the internet and get paid for it.
The best part is you don't even have to acknowledge your mediocrity, no one has to think you're any good, except yourself. And your mom, of course. The more inflated your ego, the better.
Are you just not capable of making money with your photography, even though you really think you're really, really good?
Are your novels just not being published, even though they are absolutely amazing?
No one ever reads your blog posts?
People just don't care about you in general?
Thinking about doing serious self reflection, honing your skills, developing your talents, overcoming obstacles and evolving as a human being?
Nonsense! Forget all that dull real world stuff and join Steemit! On Steemit, it doesn't matter if you suck, it doesn't matter if the real world doesn't value your work, on Steemit, your mediocrity will always have value!
You can finally be important, you can finally be a somebody, and never feel like a nobody again.
Sure, those other jerks get actual work in the real world, but they just don't know about Steemit, and you don't need them anyway.
At this point, you must be saying to yourself: "But I'm even less than mediocore, I'm very, very bad, is Steemit for me?"
Never fear!
On Steemit, you are never alone, since the Steemit experience always comes equipped with an army of bots telling you how nice your post was, how you are a dear friend, how much you are loved, how much they value the fact that you shared your completely meaningless pointless story of your sad, pathetic, directionless and hopeless life!
Not to mention, Steemit, INC. has shown me that even though you weren't blessed with high intellect at birth, you can still make your dreams come true and be success.
End social injustice today, and join Steemit!
Steemit has changed my life for the better! No longer do I ever need to feel talentless again, I am finally a somebody! I'm so happy I could cry. Thank you, Steemit!
See you on the Trending Page!
i like this blog
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I LIKE YOU! I LIKE STEEMIT!
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Ah, that was delightfully awesome! Fun day on steemit!
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Such a fun day! Every day is fun on Steemit! I love this community.
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Another beautifully crafted yet sincere post from a very talented man who has always loved, cherished, and supported this tightly-knit community of friends. I'm so proud you allow me to be one of your followers!
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Yet another masterful comment from a dear friend and loyal follower and wonderful, amazing Steemian who I will always follow and upvote for the rest of my life!
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I'm overcome with emotion; gag-4-gag is taking on a whole new and unexpected meaning. Only you can accomplish that, and only Steemit enables it!
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O my goodness, I do not know if this was intended that way but really made me laugh - enjoyed it a lot - resteeming so others can also see how great they are hahahaha
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Bernie Black Friday is better than the real one. I've been jerked off more than 25 times, i got to jerk off some strangers too. And even make money in the process! After a few hours of rejuvenation I'm back and you're the lucky winner standing to my right. Enjoy this jerk, one hand or two?
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There goes the dignity
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Who needs dignity when you have Steemit.
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<3 <3 A place where mediocricy get paid <3 <3
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I could cry. Steemit gets me so emotional.
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Me too Brosef Me too I go grab some tissue
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#metoo oilbro!
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I always your blog read and you goodly handle your post..@schattejaeger
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I will now your blog, too! Namaste!
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tuk thinks this is my sokpuppet acc :D
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Is it true, brosock?
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he gains huge earning and learnings from steemit I don't :(
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You don't love Steemit enough, brobroke.
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I agree with you@dear schattenjaeger
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who is he???@steeminator
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no more mirror for you :P
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really nice post. thank you
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I agree with you @schattenjaeger Steemit give a huge and the same time equal opportunity for everyone to gain his aim. Myself, I love drawing and painting but do it as a hobby therefore my judges are family members who like my art. But since I joined Steemit in August 17 I have learnt so many interesting artists and have their opinions. You will not believe me I create a new artwork every second day and that makes me happy. Steemit definitely changed my life. "Steemit-live long and prosper "
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Been on my radar reading list for a while :); always an amusing read. I request a continuation on steemitstreetjournal!. Also, take more caffeine with you to increase your satirical level! coffee helps.
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@Schattenjaeger hilaire hilaire hilaire! 😂
Found you through our dearly beloved benevolent would be president if it weren't for that darn Hillary 😉 @BernieSanders we were mutually upvoted by the #cirlcejerk action committee! 😂
Anyways thought this article was hilarious and wanted to lend my upvote to you as well.
Check out my latest 👉 post 👈 where I thank #BernieSanders for giving me my 👉 First 🐳🐋 UpVote. 👈
#UpVote if you'd like and stay tuned for my "show." 😉
Let's ride this #wave 🏄 🐳 🌊 🐋 🌊 #together! 😂
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