I recently took a couple weeks off to reconnect with family and focus on life. One thing that kept coming back to me was how much work we put out in attempting to improve our lives. We strive for things such as an increase at work, a larger home, or even a new pair of shoes.
It's all too easy to hunt for things that make us feel better. But, deep down, I know that looking within is the best approach to make life easier and more enjoyable.
Your ideas, feelings, and how you spend your time, as well as how you think about the people in your life. We tend to overlook these details when we are focused on more important goals, yet they add up and matter.
Of course, our external circumstances play a role as well. We all have requirements that must be fulfilled. However, when we consider how we spend our time and energy, it's evident that many of us would benefit from a more balanced approach.
I'm part of that group, so here are some easy changes I'm working on. It's not an entire list, and not every tip will be helpful to everyone, but I hope you find something useful here.
Life is a journey, and most of us are fortunate to have a variety of paths to choose from. However, not knowing where to go and constantly second-guessing yourself may be devastating.
This is why you should have a compass, because the best directions you can obtain in life are from your values. They guide you down a road that will bring you the most fulfilment and happiness—not only at your destination, but along the way as well.
What matters most to you, or your non-negotiables, are your values. They improve your life by allowing you to examine how items relate to, support, or contribute to what you value.
I was continuously fatigued before I discovered my beliefs, striving to satisfy everyone and do everything. I made decisions based on what others were doing, believing that it would improve my life; instead, it left me feeling lost.
I felt like I was doing everything correctly, but I wasn't getting anywhere, and I now understand why: I wasn't being genuine to myself. Everything changed after I figured out what was most important to me. In my relationships, my work, and even my modest lifestyle, I made confident decisions.
This way of thinking takes time to develop, but the more I act on my ideals, the easier and better life becomes.
Approaching our relationships from a place of understanding or empathy is one of the most effective ways to improve them. Understanding your friends, family, coworkers, and loved ones can help you communicate, learn from, and engage with them more effectively.
Hearing—truly listening without planning your response or thinking of a relevant story to tell—is one of the simplest ways to begin doing this. It's more about being present, paying attention, and simply making room for people.
To be honest, I find this quite difficult. My mind is constantly flying from thought to idea because I am a natural storyteller. This is beneficial as a writer, but it can be harmful to my personal relationships. So I'm trying hard to improve my listening skills and think and learn people.
The pursuit of a better life is a thrilling adventure that frequently leads to a range of new experiences.
But, before you go out and add more to your life, make sure you take care of yourself.
Sleep, food, physical activity, and relationships are all essential necessities. Don't forget about these details. A better life will only arrive if you have a strong foundation in place to address these basic necessities. Failure to do so can result in resentment and exhaustion.
Fill your cup halfway. It's not as exciting as achieving large goals, but it's just as vital.
It's tempting to believe that our ideas about others just effect them, but new research has revealed that these thoughts can also affect us.
They were asked to guess the 'why' behind the other person's argument and complete a survey to indicate their overall happiness.
The participants were divided into three groups based on whether their reasoning was hostile, benign, or ambiguous. According to the survey, individuals who always gave people the benefit of the doubt were happier.
Of course, there are many variables at play, and more research is needed, but this study does imply that giving people the benefit of the doubt, or at the very least, not assuming the worst in them, can help us be happier.
This is something I've witnessed in my own life, especially among individuals I know love and care for me: my husband, close friends, and family. Negative ideas are easy to think at times, but they are often a mirror of my anxieties and insecurities.
Giving someone the benefit of the doubt does not require being a doormat. Instead, you should hesitate and assume the best until you receive proof to the contrary. This has helped me feel less worried by the small things, which is a great way of improving my life.
Work is a tool for many people to obtain what they value. Living debt-free, for example, could be a goal. You'd have to work hard to achieve that aim.
Having the mindset of "I have to go to work and get through this day" five days a week sets you up for average at best and contempt at worst. So, how can we improve a 'must,' such as making money? The solution is to alter your mentality.
Shifting your internal conversation and perceiving every opportunity as one for growth can yield a lot. 'Grow through' Monday to Friday instead of 'getting through' Monday to Friday.
Consider each day as an opportunity to learn something new. This transforms what appears to be a burden into an opportunity. You might use your current employment to develop your abilities and prepare for a future profession. Alternatively, walk to work to achieve your health goals.
This isn't about denying that life is difficult or avoiding negative feelings. Instead, it's about realising them and then selecting how to respond. I've learnt that we can live our principles even when the conditions aren't ideal—but we must be deliberate in making this change.
The people you spend the most time with will have the greatest impact on you, so it's in your best interest to make sure they're improving your life rather than making it worse.
Surround yourself with people who share your beliefs, with whom you can openly interact, and who make you feel good. This holds true in both the real world and online interactions.
Edit your social network and social media feeds to reflect your personal values. Unfollow anyone who makes you feel inferior or leads you away from your life goals. Protect your time, space, and energy; they are finite resources that must be treated with respect.
Setbacks, annoyances, and complaints are essential in life. The good news is that you have the ability to act rather than react. There is a significant distinction between the two. Your emotion fuels a 'reaction,' which is tough to control. We are frequently filled with emotion and respond when anything terrible occurs.
While it's critical to identify and absorb your emotions, it's also critical to recognise that you have the ability to respond to situations.
Controlling responses is possible. They are the 'actions' you take, and if well-considered, they can be more beneficial to you and the situation than your original reaction.
Feel the emotion, try to understand why you're feeling it, and then take a breath. Consider the best course of action and then take action. This could mean that you avoid uncomfortable conversations or put off responding to messages. However, rather than merely reacting, you give yourself the power to choose what to do next.
Remember that life is a journey and that things take time. Growth is rarely linear, so don't be too hard on yourself if you have a setback. I know it can feel like it's not worth trying in those moments, but have faith—small steps matter.
This is especially true for beliefs that seem out of reach due to global events or cultural influences. However, each person acting on their beliefs will lead to a greater sense of authenticity in the world, which is a worthwhile goal.
Don't buy stuff you don't need if you appreciate a minimalist lifestyle. Leave the office at 5:00 p.m. if you value work-life balance. When you're out with pals, don't be scared to order a soft drink if you value your sobriety. Creating a better life takes bravery, and it can feel like you're not getting anywhere.
But, honestly, I'm discovering that the trip is what makes life better. Our objectives are less important than turning up every day and finding joy in the people and small pleasures all around us.
I believe we've all wondered, "How can I make my life better?" at some point. Finally, I believe it comes down to courage, kindness, and truthfulness.
How can we honour our ambitions, dreams, and beliefs by showing up for ourselves and others every day? And how can we appreciate the road rather than wishing for a fictitious'someday' when everything will be wonderful and our difficulties will vanish?
I don't have all the answers, but experience has taught me that these small changes can make a big difference. You can't help but create a better life for everyone when you're clear about what and who matters, and you align your ideas, beliefs, and actions accordingly.
