Hey it's-a me. A turning point in platforming-io! Alright fine. Not my finest work.

I have a confession to make. Maybe it was because I never owned an SNES and didn't have a functioning NES by the time I was old enough to, you know, actually be able to play video games. Maybe it was because I wasn't a true gamer at that time, recognizing most of the games of the period for what they were: great for playing with friends or my brothers but otherwise completely inferior to a good book. Or, maybe, just maybe, games were just many, many times harder back in the day.

Whatever the reason, I used to suck pretty badly at almost ever Super Mario video game. I'm not sure what it was. My Dad was super good at the original Mario. Two of my brothers were pretty damn good at Mario 2, 3, and Mario World. But me? Well, did I say I sucked pretty bad? I meant horribly.

Then something magical happened. Home console games started going 3D. And they started going hard.

And, along with the rest of gaming, our favorite Nintendo game character (well, second only to Link from Legend of Zelda. But Mario 64 was a launch title and Ocarina of time had not come out, yet so sshhhh.) got the 3D treatment. And just like that, something clicked. It all made sense. A few hours into the game and it felt like I could see the matrix.

^{I would pinch that face all the time. Just this part of the game is already better than most games.}

Let me be clear: Mario 64 was fucking hard. Learning the jumps and timing was hard, figuring out many of the ridiculously impossible puzzles was hard, and every step forward in the game felt like an achievement worthy of an Olympic gold metal. So I suppose that, when it's said and done, the reason I was able to beat Mario 64 and not previous entries in the Mario franchise boils down to one thing: I loved that game.

I loved it so much that I was able to put in the necessary effort, paining over a single star sometimes for an entire weekend in order to finally get that timing just right. The freakin' race with a penguin in one level, the hidden star in a wall of another. I once, after revealing a star to some friends that they had been searching for for weeks, had them say: "How the hell did you know that was there?"

I informed them that it wasn't from gaming magazines. Just pure, tireless work and experimentation. And far be it for me to get all 'life lessons' about Mario 64, but wasn't that something worth learning? That's why I call total bullshit when people attempt to insinuate that video games are bad for kids (those voices are dying as the tide swings and the research supports the opposite point of view, but rest assured that they are not dead).

^{Good job. That one was easy, wasn't it? Smile while you can, motherfucker. The worst is yet to come.}

But anyway, it was really one of the most addictive adventures I'd had up to that point, in or out of a virtual world. The classic Bob-bomb battlefield with it's cannons and green landscape. Cool, cool mountain with it's snow covered, treacherous hill, peltered with a line of never-ending giant snow balls. Jolly Roger Bay and it's incomprehensibly awesome hidden city (though I was a bit disappointed that you couldn't go inside of the houses). These were lands and puzzles that were worthy of my time, not to mentioned the much better fleshed out characters.

I remember the hats.

I'll never forget putting the flying cap on in the first level. The music that played, the joy that Mario seemed to feel with his arms spread wide (and, it felt like, I along with him), and the combination of sadness and satisfaction when I finally landed. The metal cap had pretty awesome music too, come to think of it, and it was definitely the one that looked the coolest. The - well I guess you could call it the 'immaterial' cap wasn't the coolest of them, but it was super useful when you did need it.

And I'll tell you something else: I got every one of those stinking stars.

It took forever. No guides, no help from outside (might sound unbelievable, but remember: internet wasn't widespread in those days. I certainly didn't have it.). And when I climbed to the top of the castle to take a look at what lay in store, I was delighted to find that the rumors were true. Yoshi was there to greet me.

Mario 64 was a solitary game, but it was time that I treasure spending with an old friend who's been around for about as long as I have. As far as I'm concerned, Mario 64 is definitely, unquestionable, and without a doubt, one of the best games ever made!!

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