I figured there was no way I could write you an email this week and not mention the awful morning sickness so now whoever doesn’t know I’m pregnant again, will know now. So far the doctor says it looks good. I’ve seen the heart beat twice on an ultrasound. He also drew blood for an extensive panel to be done.
So my old nemesis is back… aagh!! So far it has been a tiny bit better than it was with Jay as in I have noticed that I do get some breaks from it and it’s not constant, but when it’s bad, it’s bad. As I’m writing to you now, Jay is sleeping in my arms and all I want to do is puke and I’ve felt that way since waking up. It makes me nervous because according to my pregnancy diary with Jay, it got markedly worse from around two months and up to now I’ve been feeling quite good in the mornings and it only comes in waves and is strong from the evening to the night. I’ve puked a few times, but I hate it because, like I said last time, it doesn’t make me feel any better and I’ll finish up, rinse my mouth out and immediately be hit with another strong wave. I don’t know what I’d do without Greg to help me then. He holds Jay so I can spend time in the bathroom. During the day, though, I have no choice, but to just be strong and if I need to puke I just make sure Jay is somewhere safe and go off to do what needs to be done. At work so far I’ve managed to keep it together. All the teachers know, but sometimes it’s hard and I really feel just terrible, but so far I haven’t actually puked at work so I’m glad about that.
I guess it’s just the way my body reacts to pregnancy. I can’t believe how some women feel hardly a thing or just feel a bit tired or a tiny bit nauseas here and there instead of this full-blown, all-day version. Just like last time, coffee and tea were the first to go, even before I felt really bad. I just could not face a cup of tea even though I can’t live without my tea when I’m not pregnant. So weird! I can’t face rooibos or the caffeine-free or hot chocolate or anything like that either so Greg has taken to offering me lovely cups of hot water.
I still can’t believe it’s true at times and it does freak me out a little and make me wonder how I’ll cope with two under the age of two, but I know this happened for a reason and so I’m determined to just relax and be happy about it.
Jay is doing well. He recovered from his cold and has been his usual, happy self this week. His appetite seems to have gotten bigger and he just loves his solid food. Sometimes he’ll refuse his bottle and make it clear that he wants to eat something. These days instead of just leaving out one fruit or veg for Stella, I leave out two and then we feed him different kinds of cereal at other times when he gets hungry. I’m pretty sure he is getting ready to crawl soon although he does seem to prefer standing. As soon as he grabs your hands, he pulls himself up and then he loves to “walk” along holding your thumbs. Sometimes, though, he tries to jump along which is the funniest thing to see. I think trying to crawl makes him feel frustrated. He can move back at quite the speed and it’s so cute to watch because he lifts his little butt up and down so fast and wiggles his way across the room.
He sleeps well at night, but sometimes he does fight getting to sleep. He gets upset and starts crying and you can tell he is exhausted. That’s when Greg just holds him and rocks him and he moans for a while and then suddenly he is out. Last night he fell asleep drinking his bottle at around 2am. Then he didn’t stir till around 9am. I gave him the bottle that was next to my bed and he drank it with his eyes closed and then fell right back to sleep again and woke up after Greg and I had had our breakfast at around 11:30am.
Greg is still busy working on Jay’s birth video. He wanted to use software to create subtitles so that when I spoke to the nurses in English you could read along at the bottom. He has a program that does it automatically so he doesn’t have to listen to it all himself and then write in the words. Anyway, it didn’t quite work out as planned. He chose the British English setting and I guess it wasn’t always clear so the program would just add in extra words to complete the sentence. That didn’t always work out or make sense, though. At one point Greg says to me, “Just try and relax” and it says, “Relax and be relaxed.” Then it was so funny because the program couldn’t distinguish between English and Chinese so it “thought” it was all English as that was the chosen setting. When the nurses spoke to each other in Chinese, the subtitles were hilarious. Some were like, “The rain in Tottenham is really difficult and pervades the eye easily.” Weird stuff like that. Greg and I had a really good laugh at that. Needless to say, he has taken them out.
Okay, I have to be off. Jay has just woken up and that means my little “break” is over.
Lots of love
Em x
(snippets from January 2010)