Goosed By a Turkey - Adventures of a Half-Assed Farm Lady

in blog •  7 years ago 

This is the first post in a series of (mis)adventures starting when I moved out to the country in 2013. Trust me, it will entertain.

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The very first house I can call my own. At a whopping 920sqft, I can vacuum the entire place without having to change plugs (which I think is awesome), and I have yet to get lost inside... which is kind of a big deal for me.

The house is an old pier-and-beam, built in 1898, with a lot of original bits still left over: wood floors, beadboard ceilings, partially wooded walls, bathtub, doors, hardware, and other fun things. (No ghosts though. I checked.) There's an acre in the back and half and acre in the front, no city codes (woohoo!), and it needs a lot of tlc. Basically, it's my dream house.

As we go along, you'll get to know some of the more "charming" aspects of living the dream: being snuggled up in my bed and having a scorpion drop onto my face, for instance. Or digging fence posts and in one whole acre, finding the exact spot to drive a pickaxe right through a 2" water line. Out here, there's something new to learn not just every day, but practically every hour, and oh boy have I been learning. Luckily I have a really good sense of humor (or such a pessimistic view of the world that everything seems sardonically funny), and can manage a giggle out of many ridiculous events.

I've also (again, luckily) retained much of that innate Texas toughness, despite the fact that I was raised a city girl in Dallas and have lived in places like Boston, Brooklyn (eek!), Orlando, and Austin. Most critters and bugs don't bother me and I can remove them from the premises as gently as possible (except scorpions - those evil little devil spawns don't stand a chance near me), I don't have allergies, I have been stung and bitten by just about everything and have yet to die, and I'm not afraid of the chupacabra. My body also heals very quickly which is a necessity given the fact that I injure myself in some way just about every day.

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Here I am, preparing to feed the chickens

So please, as I blog away feel free to laugh at me (or with me). I'm not planning on giving up the country life any time soon, so the hilarity is sure to continue for quite a while.

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