Why #Memento Matters and Advice For People About TBI ( Traumatic Brain Injury)

Bonjour tout le monde !!!!

It’s a bit late to say why it was important but I might want to start the memento again to help me find words,so I can continue and finish my story. By the time I am writing this, I have approximately twenty old ideas and ten new ideas to write. I just don’t know how to pour them into concise and precise word, maybe not yet. This late night ( early morning), this post is the one that I want to execute. At least, one of the ideas has gone out there It’s about The Day I Met The Hookah Smoking Caterpillar. I also think it’s wise to ask my brain to stop trying to find new ideas and focus on the old, undelivered ones.

Anyway here is why I started # memento,

As a background, an accident is a best friend of mine. It visits me occasionally at the most unpredictable time.Just like a happy tree cartoon; it starts with a happy tune, so we assume that's it's full of enthusiasm and going to be a fun cartoon yet it turns into a bloody event, and at least one person injured in that cartoon. You can imagine that way; only it’s real- life situation.Therefore, I always live my life with nothing to lose though sometimes it conflicted that I still hope to be alive at the critical moment.

About a month ago, I started a tag # memento and contest about a picture with a story.The tag is personally helping me to recollect memories and/or events I lost especially before my accident on may 2016. Without photographs and any other visual memories, I wouldn’t be able to remember anything. I am lucky having to find several pictures of my activities prior to the accident.

So, Let's put it this way

Imagine, your life is a puzzle that contains little jigsaw. You’re connecting the jigsaw since your birth up to the moment you’re today. The puzzle is in good shape because no disruption, you continue doing your puzzle each day and you can always recall or look things without having difficulty.
To me, my puzzle is very disorganized, I connected disorganized past events, and some of the jigsaws were even lost and nowhere to found. If I tried to find, it gives me a headache, irritable feeling, and numbness. And that is because I have a significant disruption with my puzzle.

And the distruption is called traumatic brain injury.

So in may 2016, I went into total shutdown about eight hours before I started asking why I was in the hospital.And, I remembered my first reaction. It was a simple " oh " and a smile with oxygen and infuse cable over me. Everyone was worried, except me not knowing what was happening or what was going to happen. My speech slurred and the people were talking in a foreign language I can't even remember of. For a while, it was a slight trouble in the hospital because the nurse would be confused with my commands as I speak in English ( it's unusual that people here speak English in daily conversation).

It was also exam time in my college and I persist to attend the exam, even my colleagues tell me to not even think about it. The doctor told me, I should be resting my brain for at least a month before I can function again. But, guess what?only a week after I released from the hospital, I went to all of the exams I have.

One of memorable exam I have during that time was when my lecture told me :

" Your speech slurred, your presentation is awful, and the accident is not an excuse for you; you can contact me beforehand and take another day"

I take that word as " no excuse, you can always work things beforehand. If you receive bad result; it's your fault". It's true, in the end, I received a terrible result from that exam. However, the other exam that involved paper project was not a big deal; I still received an excellent result. It was also a life lesson, some people do not give a damn if you're dying or any other reasons. Like Gary vee put it into a phrase " Nobody gives a fuck about your feelings bro"

I also did not really care about my health and very unaware of possible consequences during that time. Neither the doctor told me of what I was going to have after the injury. He only mentioned it's going to take me months or even years to fully recover.

Litte did I know, after four months I grew to be someone who I hate to be. I grew lazier to attend my classes, more gloomy; I hated socializing ( oh yes, I used to be fine in the crowds, but it was troublesome for six months but getting lesser gradually). What I said,is just a tiny part of the problem. It feels you're awake to be a new person, but the reality mixed it up with the past thus creating confusion.

_{I am inserting a very serene picture from avignon where my partner was having a posh family dinner on a boat. It's very unfortunate I wasn't there. We need to collect more beans and what not to travel again}

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If you have any family or a friend having through brain injury recovery, encourage them to write their feelings, show them old pictures, so they remember, take them traveling now and then. Remind them what they used to love and do. Tell them to avoid substances that slow down the process. What they need the most is to rebuild the puzzle and connect the dots. In the end, they can choose to live in the middle or embrace the new identity they construct.

It's ironic that I find myself to love booze and a caffeine addict while dealing with recovery process. I am very aware that I am slowing down the recovery by occasionally forgetting that my brain is suffering. I perhaps will crash in the next five years if I keep continously doing my current lifestyle; I wish to stop. But it is inevitable that working is a necessity and it's fun.

Bonne journée et merci de lire mon blogue ❤

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