I've come to the highly original conclusion that there are two kinds of people.
The kind that finishes the books on their shelves, and the kind that reads a couple of pages, leaving the rest unread. I used to be the kind of person who believed that one was better than the other, but since then, I've grown. It's all a matter of what kind of experience you want to put yourself through. And you shouldn't feel ashamed about it.
There was a time in college where I wanted to read a couple of pages of books at a time. I wanted to be with women for a few moments and make those moments last. I wanted to become a symbol for people to look back at, rather than a constant in their lives.
It's an artist's dream after all, to affect people so deeply that you forget how much you affected them.
But I was never that guy. I tried to become that guy and I ended up alone in my room, wondering where the hell the time went. If anyone was affected, they sure as hell weren't letting me know. And even if they did, I realized, who cares?
A stranger's opinion is sweet, but it fades. I realized that I wanted my relationships with people to last. The inspiration I gave would vanish with my life. How cruel!
Now, I make sure to listen to people deeply everyday I'm with them. I don't bother talking to a stranger unless there's a second time on the horizon. I have a weak heart for people. I am not the man I tried to be when I was younger. And I'm glad.
If I go to heaven and find myself with a hundred virgins, I would probably go back to Earth to find my wife again.
I have chosen the unsexy bliss of normalcy. But I have to say that it's not boring.
Because when you finish the pages of a great book, a certain feeling washes over you. A sublime feeling. A feeling of deep empathy, and understanding of the individual who wrote the book. Even in fiction, these things shine through.
I want to look at a friend's eyes and know that they will remain. What can I say? I'm a sentimental man.
I want to drink milk at a bar and tell jokes while the artists get drunk and write stories about their lovers. The artists will remember woman #22 as a muse as I remain monogamous and true. But we will laugh at the same jokes, there's no doubt about that.
Because I'm funny. Always have been.
