The Daily Pen #4, The Fateful Date

Unix Epoch: 1562803200

More than 2 decades ago, on this date, I was married for the first time. It was regular Church wedding, but sparsely attended. I was a young troubled college drop out working as an Electric Technician for a little more than minimum wage... and she was a PhD candidate for Chemistry at Princeton University.

It was bound to last. Everyone said so... well.. maybe not.

A couple of years later, I had left the workforce to go back to school studying Electrical Engineering. I managed to get through 18 months of my reentry into college when we discovered that we were going to be parents.

My wife was still a PhD student, and we had no money for anything. So, I dropped out from college again and went to work as a slightly higher wage Electronics Technician.

About a year after my son was born, my wife started work in the pharmaceutical industry and I went back to school...

And finished this time! It was glorious! An EE degree with my name on it!

At the time, my in-laws were watching my son during the day. Unfortunately, I disagreed with them on several parenting issues and felt like a second class citizen in my own home. To make matters worse, I wrongly cast blame and aspersions at my wife regarding sleeping arrangements with our child.

And so, one day, I the emotional strain became too much and I filed for divorce. My wife and I went to counseling for a while, but it was a complete failure... the relationship was essentially over.

I found out later, that she may have had a bit on the side during some of the time we spent arguing but before divorce was filed. I've never had proof, but she did get re-married within 12 months to her boss whose name did come up in pre-divorce arguments... so there is that.

So... whenever July 11th rolls around, I start reliving portions of my life.

I don't think my relationship with my ex-wife was built on stable ground to begin with... and I'm happier not being in it anymore. However, I was not nice. And for that I am truly sorry.

Thankfully, my son and I have a good relationship. I don't think I would have had much of a relationship if I had stayed in the marriage. There was simply no room for the ever widening gulf of ideology to be shared with him from within the marriage.