Confessions of a Sugar Monster

I didn't always care about my health. In fact, for a long time I cared very little about it.

Just four short years ago, you were most likely to find me on the back patio of the neighbourhood pub with a proper pint of beer, a filthy pack of cigarettes and some sodium saturated, sugar laden meal stacked high with deep fried golden goodness on the side. Gravy with that? Probably.

Not surprisingly, my outlook on life and my feelings about myself were about as healthy as the aforementioned meal. And while you might question the correlation between the food I was feasting on and the thoughts I was feeding my brain, continually emerging scientific evidence is here to tell us the connection is very real.

As it turns out, you truly are what you eat. I mean, when you start to think about it, really, think about it, it makes perfect sense. Food is quite literally, our fuel. Without getting deep down nerdy, it is what our body metabolizes to give our muscles energy, our bones strength and our brains brilliant ideas.

Depending on what foods we choose to ingest, be they solid, liquid or those strange consistencies in between, they either nourish our bodies or poison them.

And I was deep in the latter.

Breakfast? Coffee and cigarettes.
Mid morning snack? Sugar pastries, preferably a cinnamon bun and a cigarette.
Lunch? Meat and cheese (most likely processed) squished between questionable bread (read : enriched wheat flour)
Afternoon snack? But of course! Another coffee to counter my sugar crash and pastry number two (good luck, pancreas) and who could forget a cigarette.
Dinner? Beer to start (and beer to finish) and some mashup of more meat, a couple of overcooked veggies (in case God really is watching) and a starch of sorts, just for good measure. Oh, and as my dad would say, another Cancer stick for dessert.
Evening Snack? Wouldn’t miss it for the world! A bag of potato chips, maybe some ice cream and definitely, more beer.

In twenty thirteen, at twenty seven years of age, I stood 5 foot 5 inches tall and at my heaviest, weighed in at a hefty 169 pounds. Overweight seemed like an understatement but what was even more problematic for me, was my incredibly low self-esteem, my inability to overcome internal and external resistance and my susceptibility to frequent, depressive episodes.

Hear me out.

We have two brains, one in our head and one in our gut and not only are they created out of the same tissue during fetal development, but they are also intricately connected via our vagus nerve.

The vagus nerve serves as an information superhighway from our gut, up to our brain. So it’s reasonable (and correct) to say that that which we feed our body ends up in our gut, which eventually, ends up in our brain.

Healthy foods build beneficial gut bacteria while unhealthy foods strengthen disruptive pathogens that overthrow the good guys. If given the chance, the pathogens gain strength, overpower the gut and everything goes haywire.

Our gut bacteria is responsible for a bunch of badass stuff, like creating mood enhancing neurotransmitters such as dopamine, serotonin and gamma-aminobutyric acid (GABA). Fun fact, the greatest concentration of serotonin is created in our gut not our brain!

Serotonin, a feel-good neurotransmitter, is also known as the “happiness molecule” and when we eat processed foods loaded with refined sugars, our levels of serotonin shoot through the roof, giving us that immediate and (at the time) desirable sugar high that we know so well.

Of course what goes up, must come down and the sugar high is followed by a massive serotonin crash. That short lived, sky-high mood plummets into the post sugar trip blues causing almost immediate irritability, anxiety, nervousness and the craving for more, addictive, nutrient lacking, sugar laden treats. If we give in, we further tax our internal systems in a destructive loop of madness.

The more sugar added foods you consume, the less feel-good serotonin your body produces. Therefore, lower amounts of happiness molecules in your body means higher amounts of bummer.

Not only that, but neurotransmitters like serotonin and dopamine (responsible for motivation and reward and so much more!) can only travel efficiently throughout our body because of a neurotrophin called brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) which builds and maintains the connections and pathways that these neurotransmitters rely on.

Brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF) is not only a natural antidepressant that your body creates, but it’s super duper important for forming memories, initiating higher learning and remembering new things. (Not to mention it helps with sleep, energy metabolism, weight loss and setting your circadian rhythms)

Guess what negatively affects your BDNF levels? Yep, refined sugar and processed foods. People who suffer from anxiety, depression and schizophrenia (as well as Alzheimer’s, epilepsy, OCD and impaired learning) tend to have lower levels of BDNF in their body.

Guess what helps your BDNF levels rise? Cutting out processed foods, refined sugars, and adding in healthy exercise, omega-3 fatty acids, probiotics and intermittent fasting - read about it here (https://www.triplonger.com/blog/time-restricted-eating)

As illustrated above, I lived for many years eating a poor, nutrient lacking diet made up of sugar laden and processed foods. I coupled that with low levels of movement and exercise and stirred in a daily, unbalanced consumption of alcohol and nicotine that left me in a profoundly sad, anxious and unhealthy place.

But at the root of all the sadness was the hardest thing to admit to myself and that was that the problem, was me.

At the time, I didn’t love myself enough to take care of myself. I was fighting tooth and nail to avoid taking responsibility for where I was at in my life and how I felt. It was much easier to point a finger at society, culture, parenting, genetics, work, bad luck, you name it, I blamed it.

I had to step up to the plate and recognize that I was the only one responsible for me. That who I was, where I was and how I felt was actually my own fault.

And then, I had to take action on that.

Which I didn’t. At least not right away. In fact, while I kept saying to myself, (usually during a nasty hangover) “I want to change my life” what I ACTUALLY meant was “I want my life to change but I don’t want to have to do anything for that to happen”

But eventually, I was sick and tired of being sick and tired (and chubby) and I knew that if I wanted change, real change, I had better lace up and get to work because no one else would or could, do it for me.

My transformation has been slow and steady but sustainable. Since taking the reigns, I mustered up the courage and support to quit smoking cigarettes and quit drinking alcohol (it’s been two years, read about it here https://www.triplonger.com/blog/2017/1/1/one-year-no-beer)

I found those first, important steps gave me the strength, energy and quite frankly, the time, to add in exercise and meditation to my daily routine.

Through the practice and the consistency, through the slipping up and the coming back, came progress. And with my progress came the awareness that something profound was still standing in my way, still blocking my light. But now, I had the strength to face it.

So, I did.

I made a vow to completely cut out refined sugar and processed foods for eight weeks. No weening, just cold turkey, that’s my style. It was challenging and emotional and thought provoking. As my liver detoxed, so did my bowels. (I’ll spare you the details). The cleansing brought up old, unresolved issues and traumas and I was forced to face them head on, to try and be comfortable in the uncomfortable, or at least be present.

There was no liquor or sugar to hide behind, I even took a few week hiatus from cannabis and caffeine as to not reach for them when the times got tough, and tough they got.

However, after a few weeks off the sugar and processed junk, the sadness and the upheaval turned to contentment, to clarity, to elevated levels of energy and peace, to a profound sense of well-being.

When the eight weeks was up, I allowed a few treats to trickle back in, but this time, with much more awareness and balance. My focus in the past year has become about conscious consuming of not only food but of my favorite things, including media, music, coffee and cannabis.

I’m no saint (thought my Grandpa thinks I am) but I do my best to enjoy real, nutrient dense whole-foods like healthy meats, veggies, fruits, nuts, seeds and fatty oils. Now that my taste buds have begun to adjust, those once boring foods are now more delicious than ever.

Not only have I noticed that changing my nutritional intake has significantly increased my self-esteem, self-confidence, ability to overcome resistance, enhanced my physical progress, aided my sleep and levelled up my mental strength, but I have never, ever loved myself (and others) more.

So, on this New Years Day, I remind myself that it’s not always easy to do the right thing, but it is definitely always worth it.

Happy New You!

Xo.

Ali B