The Old Dog Makes: Costly Language Bloopers!

in bloopers •  8 years ago  (edited)

"Learning a new language is fun" they said. It will enrich your life" they added. True, but my move from English speaking Canada to the Italian speaking area of Switzerland did not come without the odd blooper reel worthy gaff! 

These Costly Errors Have Come in Two Forms

  • 1. The highly embarrassing "faux pas" in which the cost is a red face and an awkward squirm.
  • 2. When the use of the wrong word ends up having an actual price tag attached to it.


Me in my office contemplating my latest language gaff! Was the cost shame, money or both?

Let's Take a Look at a Couple of my Best Bloopers From Each Category!


1. The Faux Pas: a slip or blunder in etiquette, manners, or conduct; an embarrassing social blunder or indiscretion.

When meeting new people I like to be friendly and polite. In order to break the ice I'll ask some questions to get the conversation going. Once, in a highly formal setting I was impressed by what a man was saying about himself and so I turned to his wife and said: "He seems like he's the man of the year!"

In Italian, year is "anno" and when you say it you've got to stress the sound of the double n. I unfortunately said ano which means "arsehole" or "anus". What I had literally told the man's wife is that her husband seemed like an arsehole! I guess that explains why they walked away in a huff!


2. The Mistake That Costs Money!

A couple of headlight bulbs had blown out on my truck and since I was passing by a mechanic I popped in to ask him to change them quickly.

"Hmm let me think, how do you say headlights in Italian?" I reasoned that it must be "candele" because that’s a word that I had heard when people were talking about cars and it sounded like candles so it should have been correct! I went with it. BIG mistake!

When I asked the mechanic if he could change the "candele" for me he said that it would take quite a bit of time and that I'd have to leave the car. That seemed strange. "How hard could it be?" I thought. To make a long story short I went off to "kill" some time and when I went back to pick up the truck, the headlights were still burned out but my engine was purring like a kitten.

You see, by asking him to change the candele I had actually requested that he change the sparkplugs! Instead of a bill for 20 Frs or so I was faced with a bill of a few hundred Francs and I still had my original problem! Of course, I was too embarrassed to admit my mistake and so I ended up searching for the light bulbs at our local DIY store and I did the job myself! The cost ended up being a lot of time and money.

Such is The Life of an Old Dog Learning a New Language! 

I must say that I've improved but I'm not immune to these costly blunders which I pay for in either shame or cold hard cash!

Points to Ponder!

  • Have you ever made a "faux pas"?
  • Was it highly embarrassing and what shade of red did YOU turn?
  • What costly errors have you made?
  • What was the price? C'mon you can tell us. We're all friends here!


I hope that you enjoyed this story about my Costly Language Bloopers!


Until next time,


@kus-knee (The Old Dog)

Remember, I reward the best comment(s) on each of my posts with my "The Old Dog is Throwing You a Bone" program! So please re-steem and follow so that we can spread the wealth!     

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Your post made me laugh and it is important to note that laughter lowers blood pressure, thanks for sharing ........ I needed that!

Thanks so much. Sad but true stories! :)

it would be interesting to prescribe that to people with high blood pressure, at east half an hour a day of laughing, sure would beat those pills :)

I think patients would be standing in line for an appointment with such a provider today. Most people are sick of Big Pharma.

maybe they can laugh at them the next time :)

As a young 17 year old, posted to Fiji for 18 months, I thought it important to learn Fijian. Second night, leaving the bar after a couple of beers two Fijian girls offered to start teaching me. their language. I grabed the chance, so they taught me 'please' and 'thank you'.
A couple of nights later, in one of the senior Fijian's homes , in the middle of tea I asked the lady of the house 'please' pass the salt,'thank you'. There was a loud clatter knives and forks being dropped, the head of the house grabed me by the scruff of my neck and draged me out into an ajoining room."Do you know what you just said?".
I explained how I had been taught these words and the meaning of them. He then told me the first was a portion of a womans body, and the second , what it was used for. With a red face I appologised to the company and was careful where I used those words from tnen on in.

Yes it's easy to slip up. When it's obvious that we're foreigners we can get away with more but it's still embarrassing! Thanks for the comment!

I hear you buddy!

Shocking!

My daughter btw confirming that

Very cute!

A me è successo tante volte che non mi ricordo qualle è stato più buffo, sia in italiano, inglese o nella mia madre lingua: il portoghese. L'unica cosa che mi ricordo quando stavo imparando italiano (ancora sto) è che me veniva un mal di testa quando volevo seguire il discorso del gruppo che me ne andavo a letto! Bel post! (;

Grazie che ha ammesso i tuoi errori. Adesso non mi sento solo!

Mai stiamo da solo, amico mio! (;

Lol, I did something similar with the first one in Spanish. It's terribly unfortunate!!!! Lol

Lots of fun! Thanks Mr. 70!

haah I have to say I don't have stories like yours :D

My "biggest" mistakes always were in school at least in that case, costing me social validity, I haven't made any mistakes in speaking with people, because I don't :D I speak with myself and rarely come out of my shell, unless I'm around friends, but I wouldn't use a language I'm not fluent in, or would be very very careful, so no big social gatherings, at least unless I'm a wallflower keeping tabs and trying to understand what everyone is talking about hahah,

I try to skip on those mistakes, so I haven't learned my lessons I suppose

I still remember how I felt when I got some American neighbors, always thought my English was flawless and I was the best in class, understood movies, books, games, the internet :D but I wasn't prepared. It took me at least a month before I could speak freely with them, to get up to speed with their thinking and speech and to straighten out my stupid "perfections", every second sentence of mine started with aahhhhhhmmm, wellllll, hummmm :D have to say I learned a lot for what is believed and what is in reality.

Here is a shameless plug for https://steemit.com/@nikflossus if you know him great if you don't there is a great theme for learning Russian with some basic concepts and principles tat can be implemented in any learning experience, also there seems to be a update to the golos, I'm liking how things are going there they seem to have caught up with the main platform here :)

Cheers mr.Old Dog :) Long time no see, I was missing you :D thank you for those posts, I did upvote most, but couldn't get around to read through them :)

Wow, thank for your nice comment. I had no idea that your first language wasn't English. Might I ask what it is?

All the best to you!

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The Old Dog is Throwing You a Bone For Your Nice Comment!

Please check your wallet!

Remember: I reward the best comments on all of my posts so continue to follow me and tell your friends!

I still haven't figured out where you are from!

come on, I've made it sooo easy it's almost spelled if you don't dig into it much.

So that adds up to 4+4 in total 8 letters :P and don't tell anyone :D
Source comment with the Updated mandatory 3 hints :D

add them up it should take 5 minutes :) for the tip, thank you so much once again.

I'm trying to organize myself and start posting regularly that and the activity around my freelance should change. I'm too unreasonable with my time it seems.

Good luck next time I will say it plainly, might even introduce myself :D

Well... When my friend from England said she needed to "burn a fag" I nearly pounded her face in. When she saw the look on my face she said, "That means cigarette." Friendship saved! LOL

And apparently the OK hand signal means asshole in a few countries so I try to keep my hands quiet too. :D

  ·  8 years ago (edited)

Good one. In Shakespearian times a fag was a wooden wedge. "They shoved a fag under the leg of the kitchen table to stop it from wobbling".

saying fanny pack always made her blush bright red too. LOL I wonder if that particular bag will ever have a comeback?

@kus-knee I can relate !

Have you ever made a "faux pas"?Was it highly embarrassing and what shade of red did YOU turn?
What costly errors have you made?
What was the price?

Yes! In Korean and in Dutch .. chili pepper and the willy has the same word just slightly different in pronunciation and I committed the wrong one trying to explain in the middle of the dinner that I can't eat anything with much hot chili pepper since my stomach won't be able to bear it but saying "kuttsu" instead which meant the willy and everybody on the table laughed at me and someone even got choked and when my student explained why they laughed I wanted to go under the table out of shame.

In Dutch hoer and huur = prostitute and rent and they are almost nearly pronounced. I was explaining that my hubby doesn't pay any rent but instead of sounding "huur" I said "hoer" and the teacher kid that of course he won't have to pay the hoer cause I'll probably kill him all in Dutch and everyone laughs but I was new and didn't get a grip till someone who's been there for months explained it. The price was just being laughed at and losing my face but didn't cost me a dime.

But good luck with your Italian man it's never too late to learn a language.

So you can understand me! Sounds like you speak a lot of languages!

@kus-knee yes :)
not a lot just a few really
one is even rusty now I barely use it ..

The Old Dog is Throwing You a Bone For Your Nice Comment!

Please check your wallet!

Remember: I reward the best comments on all of my posts so continue to follow me and tell your friends!

@kus-knee thank you very much for your huge heart and generosity!

Uhm... fun? Well, it depends by your age.

At the primary schools (In italy) I've studied french. Well, was ok. A little fun too, because it sounds very "bourgeoisie".
Then I had some English during the university, which was ok, "but"... such a terrible, logic-agnostic language.

Now I moved in Germany for my job and I am having lessons of German... and... Scheiße. This language has no resistance to any error. Seems people cannot understand you when you use the wrong font.

Or....

Shit, age counts. A lot. Learning language is fun. When you are young.

Which means, when almost everything is fun. :) :)

ahahah the man of the year is fantastic! I can say that you aren't the first or the last that say ano instead of anno :D
Don't worry, I can "give" you my best blooper: 10 years ago I was in Prague with my daughter Noemi. Between me and my daughter there are only 17 years and sometimes people can still be mistaken for sisters. So, two men in the metro asked me if Noemi was my sister. My answer was: "No, she's YOUR daughter" (instead of "she's MY daughter"). Can you image the faces of that two men? :D

That's a funny one!

When I learnt English once I said shit instead of sheet))) As it sounds the same but in the first case it is short and in the second long sound.

Yes I've heard that one a few times! Thanks for sharing.