Escaping.

in break-ups •  5 years ago 

"There's nothing for me here," "I want better opportunities," "I need to be my own person." These statements are all true, they're what I told everyone, how I justified leaving everything I've ever known. What I failed to mention was that I'm really just running, running from the memories, running from his essence.
When I landed on a different continent I thought I'd escaped. No more shared memories in any of the new places, no more triggers to remind me of my life with him.
Oh how wrong I was. Now I wake up at four in the morning, sweating from nightmares of him that I can't escape. Now I think I see his face in every person I pass. I see things that I know he'd love and imagine all the things we'd do together.
I guess this is really why they say running from your problems never works, because when you're truly haunted by something...it follows you everywhere and there's no escape.

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I'm so sorry that suck's. I have a daughter I never got to meet. I was lied to i found out back in 2003 that my baby momma wasn't 2 week's late she was early and back then dad's had no rights the only way I could even get pictures was by signing my rights over for her second birthday. It left a blackhole in my heart that I've tried to fill. Its gotten easier over time she will be 16 in November hopefully I will get to meet her in 26 month's😊 How long were you in your relationship for how many people did you not only put on the back burner but stop talking to?