BUDDHA'S TEACHING

If you have trouble knowing how to speak,
try to imagine what the Buddha would say
if he were in your situation.

Develop patience not for pleasure but to
cultivate transcendent detachment. Let
nothing that comes your way throw you.

Be soft-spoken.

If a relationship has become difficult, it may
be because you have nourished your
judgment and your anger, not your
compassion.

Listening is an art. Listen with a still and
concentrated mind. Then it is possible to
be responsive to what is being said.

The blow of a whip raises a welt, but a blow
of the tongue crushes bones.

Look for the many ways people
communicate their love without saying it.

When you avoid people who differ from you,
you shut yourself off from different
perspectives and reduce your capacity for
creative solutions.

Your inner stories are based on your own
opinions. By listening deeply and openly to
your inner dialogue, you can replace the
inner authority figure with a more loving,
nurturing voice.

The more you practice concentrating on the
breath, the longer you will be able to
sustain a mindful listener’s composure, free
from internal distraction.

Anger is like picking up hot coals with your
bare hands and trying to throw them at
the person you’re angry at. Who gets
burned first?

Avoid using “should” and absolutes like
“never,” “always,” and “every.” Absolutes
are hot-button words that can easily shut
down the other person’s willingness to
listen.

Poke holes of wakefulness into your mindless
communication habits.

Listening to your words during stressful
discussions is essential to avoid fueling the
fire.

An alert, calm state of mindfulness,
achieved through regular practice, begins
to permeate every interaction.

When you get into a conversation with
someone, stay away from your own agenda.
Ask a few open-ended questions that begin
with “why,” “what,” or “how” to get the
other person talking.

When in doubt, go for kindness and
postpone saying anything difficult.

Send an e-mail or leave a voicemail message
just to say “I love you.”

When your speech is kindly, people will be
joyful. When it is polite, you will have
many friends.

Negative speech creates an environment in
which it becomes difficult to do anything
positive. You cannot feel good about
yourself when you intentionally hurt
someone else.