The Power of ONE

This story is a fairytale about the humble beginnings of my sweet and blessed life. Like all fairy tales, there are some adversities faced, but our (often) fearless heroine usually comes out on top. I was born in Hawaii on the island of Maui; a beautiful place riddled with socio-economic discrepancies that slightly tainted the paradise. As a white girl, a "haole", in my predominantly ethnically diverse neighborhood and public school system, I was teased and tormented by my peers. An already awkward period in most young adults life was intensified by reflections of hatred for the things I would never be able to change. What may seem like a tragedy to some was actually a huge blessing for me. The underlying desire to fit in amongst a group of people that Bullyied me in an effort to fit in themselves, was quickly replaced with the awareness that it would only take one person--just ONE--to stop this treatment. I remember thinking during these altercations that if one person stepped up and said "this is wrong !" That the situation would be diffused and the behavior would shift. Just by bringing awareness to the issue and shedding light on the problem, that a difference could be made.

Although those adolescent experiences were both painful and challenging (as most adolescent experienced are), they forced me to develop a surprisingly strong sense of self -confidence. A place of resolve where I decided that SOMEONE had to have my back in this life, and that someone could be me. Most teenagers are followers, and by establishing myself as a leader through sports and clubs, my social standing changed rapidly. I was no longer just a Haole girl. I was now a haole girl who could play soccer and preside over the drama club (both surprisingly cool at my school.) As my confidence developed, so did my voice, and in high school I was gifted my first opportunity to be the change I wanted to see. A new girl had joined our school mid year from the mainland and had easily become a place for people to hurl their insecurities at. I watched in dismay as this quite and polite girl at lunch by herself and a group of kids threw bread in her hair. Tears streamed down her face and I rendered being in her position and pleading with the universe to send just ONE person to help create a change for me. I knew that I needed to be that ONE person for her. As I walked up to her table I was scared..everyone knows that this was social suicide, and I had just "secured" my place in high schools fascist society. I was surprised at how strong and brave I felt as I heard myself saying to the group of people "What you are doing right now is so mean. How would you feel if you were at a new school and someone was treating you this way?" It felt like the whole cafeteria froze, although I do have a penchant for the dramatic so it may have just been our micro bubble that paused, and I saw an emotion on the faces of those students that surprised me: embarrassment. They were embarrassed?! Even more so, they were ASHAMED. Then one by one they apologized to the girl with sheepish looks on their faces. As the new girl and I walked back to finish our lunch with my table of friends I was completely bewildered by how effortlessly we had created a change. It wasnt overtly dramatic and it didn't take a lot of time, but it changed everything. Somehow it had created more compassion and empathy at our school. The other students started holding each other accountable for their actions.

Let me be very clear, I don't believe that this single scenario is what changed the feeling of our school. I know people to be inherently good, and most would leap at an opportunity to do the right thing. What I realized is that their is so much power in ONE person, and that often times our "enemies" are friends that haven't been called out on their shit yet. 😝