- Learn to listen actively
High-intelligence chatting is not about making loud comments in a crowd, but about putting down your ego and paying attention to others. The first meeting, in the case of not yet understand each other, learn to listen carefully to what the other party is saying, communication is possible. While listening to the other party, to give the other party some timely response, such as: repeat what the other party said.
For example: repeat what the other party said, and emotional modification. Let the other party that you are not only listening to TA seriously, but also empathize with TA, such as the other party said, “Today's weather is really hot,” you also say: “Yes, really hot to me can not stand.” Catch the key words in the other person's sentence and expand on them or ask questions. For example, if someone mentions that they went fishing with some friends last weekend, you can ask: Where did you go fishing? What was your favorite thing to do while fishing? What else did you do there besides fishing?
- Don't ask too many questions at once
When you meet someone for the first time, you may want to know more about them by asking questions. However, if you ask too many questions at once, you may give the other person an uncomfortable feeling of “being checked out” or “being interrogated”.
An alternative is to mix questions with statements. In the same example, if someone mentions that they went fishing with some friends last weekend, you could say, “I haven't tried fishing yet, but I've watched some videos, and I think it's really fun, so I'd like to give it a try. I don't know if there's a good place to go fishing in the neighborhood. This can give the other party a sense of “you are back and forth” conversation.
- Don't get nervous when you run out of things to talk about
And just met people to talk, it is easy to talk about a few topics, we fell into an awkward silence, this is very normal, but do not need to panic, when you have nothing to say, you can use the following 3 techniques to heat up the scene again: discuss the recent hot issues, you can start from “you recently heard / have seen XXXX? ” Start with “Have you heard/seen XXXX lately?”. Usually, hot issues get more attention, and there are more perspectives to discuss, so it's likely that you can get people talking about the same issue. Utilize your surroundings. If you are in a new environment, you can talk about how the décor, the atmosphere makes you feel, or the traffic on the road, etc., which can increase everyone's engagement. Pretend the other person is your best friend. This method can ease the awkwardness and tension that may arise when you talk in front of someone you don't know well, and become more relaxed and natural.
- Adjust the rhythm of your speech
One of the most important things in a conversation is not what you say, but how you say it. Because your voice and body language are such an important part of communication, changing these habits can have a big impact. Several techniques can be used.
- slow down your speech. When you're excited about something, it's easy to talk faster and faster. Trying to slow down allows others to hear you better.
- don't talk louder and louder; this may make others feel raucous.
- Speak with feeling and with a certain amount of intonation. This will make it easier for people to get caught up in your words.
- Use pauses. Adding small pauses between sentences will create a little tension and anticipation in the listener.
- Don't rush to pull the conversation to yourself
In a gathering, when a person is sharing his or her experience, often a person will interrupt the TA and say that he or she has had a similar experience and then pull the focus of the conversation to himself or herself.
This can easily give the impression of rudeness. When others are talking about their own views and ideas, you can give a little response at the right time, but do not interrupt others, and when others finish, you have an overview or comment on the TA's content, and then say your views and experience is not too late, it will make people feel more comfortable.
- Avoid talking about negative, strange and more controversial topics
When chatting with a good friend, you can talk about all sorts of topics without fear. But when you are chatting for the first time to get to know each other, it is better to keep a relaxed and comfortable chatting atmosphere. Avoid leaving a bad impression on others. Know how to use kind words to infect the being, to lead others to a good place.
