I have never agreed to force children to do things they do not want. The word "obligate", in itself, already has a negative charge. It is defined as "making someone do something using force or authority". I translate it as doing something you do not want and do not feel.
Children are being trained and our job as parents should not be to force them but to teach them to make their own decisions and learn to choose, to develop their own feelings and not to be afraid to express what they feel.
I think it is fundamental to protect their innocence and not contaminate them with thoughts or actions of adults.
Teach values through example and not punitive actions. It is not about letting them do what they want but to guide them, listen to them and understand them a little more. Let them learn from their own falls and frustrations. That they develop their feelings in a natural way and not by obligation.
Share
Why do we force our children to share their toys when they do not want to? In a study conducted by a group of scientists and psychologists, they suggest that when children share their things because they decided so and not because they were forced, they are much more likely to repeat the action and be more generous in the future. What can you do? Do not punish them. If your child is reluctant to share a better toy, talk to him, explain why it is good to share with others and preach
Ask for forgiveness
A child should not be forced to ask for forgiveness. Apologizing is a sincere act that must be felt in the deepest part of the heart. The correct thing would be to explain to them that what they did was wrong and that they should not hurt others. The age will come at which he will voluntarily and because he feels it.
Give kisses and hugs : for children giving kisses
Is a manner of showing affection and affections I should never be forced.
Stay in someone else's house
If children do not want to stay in someone's house, you should explore the reasons behind their refusal. Many times we force them to stay in places where they are not happy or feel uncomfortable. If we at least understood their reasons, we could look for alternatives to make them feel better. As always, give him the option to choose. It is not giving in to what they want but knowing why they want it and finding a middle ground
To be those who do not want to be
It is one of the biggest mistakes that parents make. Sometimes we force our children to practice some sport or perform some activity they hate or go into a profession they object to. It is good to expose them to experiences but if it is something that does not make them happy, why insist? As parents we must give alternatives and let them decide.
Hi @phunke,
Parenting is one of most tasking task any parent can have. It is not enough to have children without training them. The bible book says "train up a child the way he should go. He will not depart from it when he is grown". This entails living by example and not by booing. However, there may be occasion a child may refuse a wise council based on his little or no experience and knowledge. FORCE shouldn't be used. Most a times we parents miss it by trying to force it on them. We should be persuasive. Of course patience with them is a KEY
Merry Christmas
@praise-eu
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Great post Phunke <3
I love all of this!
This is absolutely what our generation must put into practice!
The older generations have already started, by wanting the best for their children and trying to help them get the most out of our modern world (compared to past generations there has been a huge shift)
But what we must do now is raise children by treating them like fully human and conscious beings with their own will from the moment they are born.
Sure, we must provide solutions, care, sustenance and other forms of welfare to them at every step of the way in their first years, but we must respect and most importantly honor their will and feelings from the youngest age.
This will help them develop the fastest, with no stunted growth or arrested development in the brain, gut, heart, etc...
Then, by the time they reach adulthood, they will be incredibly intelligent and high functioning individuals capable of re-imagining our world for the better
Just a few more carefully thought out and well planned generations and the world will retain to a magical world of felt magic and empowerement of emotion, at which point reality will become a DREAM.
Thank you for these words, it's so wise!!!
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Nice post .
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I LOVE the essence of this post!
These are basic human rights for child development.
My first child will be born this Spring and I definitely will not allow anything to be forced upon my daughter. She will have a lot of Abraham-Hicks type of programing from birth to age 12/13.
Healthy Child Development and Education starts in the home.
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Parents do this things out of love too you know. So one cannot blame them.compelling children too its affected some kids positively.so let's look at it from a brighter side
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It's not about blaming parents, but hurting children out of love is simply not good enough.
"But my parents hurt me out of love".
Yeah. And they were clueless about any other better ways to raise you.
We're not asking parents to be perfect, just to try their best to raise the most independent, self-aware, conscious, critical young minds and bodies so that they will be given opportunities to flourish in ways we could only dream of
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You are right tho',
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I think parents need to remove themselves from situations as much as possible, yet always be present.
That's the role of a parent.
To be there when you need them, and let you on your own devices when you don't.
Kids need to explore, and learn the world through their own senses and experiences.
"Preparing our children for the harsh realities of the world" - we just end up destroying and stiffing their unique creativity and their natural growth path...
The biggest problem with our world is that we force our children to grow up too fast... :'(
The magical feeling of childhood is supposed to continue through our whole life...
Some children are robbed of the magic of life and they haven't even spoken their first words yet...
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parenting in the olden day is quite different from now (especially this 21 century).....but only few parents understand this....they will be like "if my mother eye us then we already know what she mean" "we deal with 101 food time table"...trash who cares.....children of nowadays are different, parent should not upbring children the way they were bought up......i think this will change lives....nice one
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I highly disagree with any sort of forced activity, unless a child is a complete spoiled toddler - like making mess and then do all sort of drama and not wanting to put back toys in their place...
It is one thing to teach a child how to be a human being and another thing to train him/her how to lose their individuality.
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