PTA President says goodbye

Did I tell you yet that I was PTA President at my little kids' elementary school? I was. In fact, I just got done being President for 3 years. It's a yearly term, but the previous President had health issues and I took over for him during his second term.

At first I LOVED. IT. I have never been what anyone might consider a 'leader'. Not in my mind, anyway. So being in charge felt really powerful. I met lots of people and I felt like I was really maybe probably making a difference.

And then it happened.

People who were my friends found it very difficult to take direction from me. I wasn't a micro manager or a nagger or anything like that, so I figured it would be simple, you know? I wasn't being bossy, I was the boss. You want to be the boss, you go ahead and be the boss, I was sort of forced into my role in the first place. But one after another, my friends flipped out on me.

And it happened over and over again.

I wonder if other people in places of leadership have had similar difficulties. I had no one to guide me, I felt like I was running around putting out one fire after another until I found myself, this year, hating the whole thing. Hating being in charge, hating that everyone knew I was PTA President and therefore 'should do' something about whatever it was they had issue with.

[Side Tangent]

If you are in contact with anyone in a leadership position, be they volunteer or paid, do not, and I mean DO NOT EVER DON'T DO IT, MEREDITH, ever start a sentence with, "You know what you should do..." DO NOT OMG I MIGHT VOMIT RIGHT NOW. No. You know what YOU should do?? COME UP WITH A PLAN. Present a plan in which YOU, the suggestor, are an INTEGRAL PART TO THE THING GETTING DONE.

Allow me to illustrate:

Meredith: 'You know what you should do, Bethany? You should start a program where parents help kids getting dropped in the mornings! Like, help kids get out of their cars and stuff so that huge, awful drop-off line goes faster!!"

Me: "Meredith! That is a WONDERFUL IDEA!! Can you chair the committee to find volunteers and have them trained and set up a schedule for everyone?"

Meredith: "Oh, no, I couldn't POSSIBLY take the time out of my SO VERY IMPORTANT DAY to do that! Ha! Ha!"

Me: "Oh, sure, I see, yes, you are so very busy and important, I understand. I'll see if I can find someone else to chair it, and then I'll have them contact you so you can be trained and then volunteer?"

Meredith: "Oh no way will I have time ever to ever even THINK about spending those fifteen minutes any morning ever to help with that!! Haha!! And truly why the fuck are you pressuring ME so hard to do something, YOU'RE THE PTA PRESIDENT YOU SHOULD DO IT"

OMG Y'all. I am so very BARELY EVEN EXAGGERATING. I love to exaggerate and that little rant up there BARELY DOES ANY OF IT.

[END OF SIDE TANGENT THE FIRST]

So. ahem Anyway. Is that why being 'in charge' is so hard for everyone? Is it the personalities one has to deal with or was it that way for me because of who I am and how I try to make everyone my friend...? Everything else was pretty easy in comparison.

I'm going to say this now and if it upsets you... well, shit, no one is really reading my stuff anyway so I'll deal with you as I need to but hear me now; WOMEN ARE CRAZY. Idiot men say it all the time and come on, boys are dumb everyone knows this. Except that WOMEN ARE CRAZY. I had never dealt with so much territorial bullshit ever in my LIFE. Of course, I had never been in charge of so much before but I had participated before and OH MY LORD IN HEAVEN Y'ALL. This mother MUST run the food tent. It MUST be her way or she won't participate at ALL. So when I made some changes, she quit helping PTA in ANY way.

Ok, cool. Like, thanks.

That One was Shady As Fuck at the Monster Mash (our annual Halloween Carnvial). This One saw That One being shady and so micro managed That One in All the Ways for months. (note: That One didn't actually do anything wrong, it turns out, just was pushing boundries and pushing boundries was something that This One CANNOT STAND). That One started calling me and SCREAMING at me over the phone about what a stupid fucking bitch I am for not telling This One to fuck off. I said, but love, you were being Shady As Fuck and part of This One's job is to make sure everything is 'above-board' and 'according to policies and proceedures'....

Screaming at each other at school in the Parent Liason Room was not our finest moment and was totally The Last Straw.

And then?? I kid you not, That One TOOK HER KID OUT OF SCHOOL AND PRETENDED TO MOVE. She lived across the street from school.

You can't make this shit up.

Anyway. Thanks for letting me vent. I did some really amazing things as President, too, like bringing Donzaleigh Abernathy, daughter of the late Reverend Abernathy to do an assembly for our kids. (You'll have to Google him/her if you don't know who I'm talking about, I haven't figured out how to do links yet) Grownups and kids alike are still talking about the impact she made on them and that is such a point of pride for me I might do it all over again just to have the chance to do something so important.

Might. ;-)