MY SON FEELS MUCH DISTRUST OF HIMSELF. CONFIDENCE AND SECURITY, INDISPENSABLE ATTITUDES TO CONFORM YOUR PERSONALITY.

I have an adult son who studies in the university, he has gone through difficult times: In his adolescence he had a girlfriend, and they had 4 years of relationship. He graduated from high school and went to college, six months back on vacation and his girlfriend was living with another boy and she was already pregnant.

For him this was very painful, sad and frustrating. It was terrible to live that experience with him.

10 years have passed since those events, he has not been able to overcome it and I have noticed that his level of insecurity is too high. He has a very low self-esteem. Psychologists have treated him, but he has not been able to overcome that trauma.

This affected him immensely, so much so that he went down a cloudy path. I'm already rescuing it. He resumed his university studies after switching to three different careers. Starting with medicine, then architecture and today studying civil engineering. He already has one year of studies left. He is achieving it, but I realize that his level of insecurity is very high.

I have decided to help him, I do not want to leave him alone and I decided to rescue him, I worry about helping him to solve certain conflicts in which he lives; and one of those conflicts is his lack of confidence in himself, that's why I was investigating how to make a profit in his daily life.

Here's how interesting and simple it can be to recover your self-esteem and feel confident about yourself.

The first thing is to recognize that these people have a hard time accepting that they have low self-esteem or that they feel insecure and in fact lack confidence in what they do; This allows a barrier to form between what they are and what they want to be.

He suffers because he has a hard time getting what he wants, even if it's just selling lemonade at the university; But it is this lack of confidence that limits its potential and becomes an obstacle to achieving it.

Psychologists and students of human behavior have determined that it is very easy to gain confidence. This skill is learned and trained.

"Gaining trust is fun. You go out to do that which gives you so much fear and confidence comes alone "
Raise your hands if you agree that being healthy is a lifestyle and that it is not a simple routine that you have to meet daily.

Then, having confidence in yourself is part of your well-being, of your satisfaction with life and it becomes necessary to improve your daily routine.

That is why we must have enough confidence, that means that we must change our habits and thus, achieve absolutely, whatever we set out to do and it will become much easier.

Then we question ourselves and ask ourselves the question we do not want:

When was the last time I felt afraid of not being able to achieve something?

(I subtly asked my son the question and he got upset, I know I'm not a psychologist, but it's a way to establish the conversation he's afraid of)

Experts point out that Lack of self-confidence undoubtedly relates to fear. In the end if you do not believe in yourself, you feel afraid of not being able to achieve what you propose and do not even try.

To this type of fear, you can experience when you want to change your habits.

I have learned that feeling fear and lack of confidence in you is something similar to getting into the sea:

You want to bathe but you think it's a lot of water and you're going to drown, so you prefer to sit on the sand and look at everyone because from there you're safe and avoid the trauma of not being able to get it.

This "fear" limits your full potential. But, it is something that we all face, up to a point.

One of the things I notice is that if I did not take a risk I was not going to meet my goals and I was opposed to being afraid of failure.

I wanted to achieve most of the things I wanted to do and I risked despite coming from a humble and peasant family.
Answering the question of the beginning; In my case, I have felt fear many times. For example:

• I wanted to be a singer (I was not slender or elegant to do it) and I was afraid that nobody would listen to me.
• I wanted to leave my country, I felt out of place with my family, and I felt fear of the unknown and fail in the attempt.
• I wanted to have 4 children and I felt insecure that I would not have enough resources to support them.

In those moments, I definitely needed an extra dose of confidence in me. But I decided to fight for what I wanted, so I faced those fears and I went against those feelings.

I was not a singer, but I graduated as an architect. I did not leave the country, but I developed as a good professional. I did not have four children but I had two boys whom I could educate and train, although I'm still in that.

I know my son is different from what he lived, and he feels very insecure even talking to other girls. But I also realize that he tries to break those fears, as for example he has left his beard pointedly trying to create a unique personal aspect.

But, at the same time, he laments a lot about the time lost and the situation in the country.

My son blames the government for all his frustrations, even the fact that I do not have a stable job now.
I wonder: Why do we feel that lack of confidence in ourselves?

I will explain two of the most common reasons we find in our lack of confidence in ourselves.

1.- YOUR THOUGHTS ARE VERY NEGATIVE.

I have noticed that the highest percentage of ideas and thoughts of my son are negative, and that comes from the bad experiences he has had. And that attitude puts him against himself. That behavior guides you towards the fear of doing something AND YOU DO NOT LET IT FIGHT FOR WHAT YOU WANT.

His mind is lost in seeing what he really wants and allows him to demonstrate distrust in himself. I can see this attitude very often, and I encourage him by saying: "Come on, do not be discouraged"
The key question: How to overcome that fear? How to achieve more self-confidence?

Then I learned and we must know that achieving more confidence is a skill that can be trained. And here I expose one of the techniques to achieve it.

If we analyze well, we realize that the lack of confidence becomes worse when we do not try.

I have a sister psychologist and she has always advised us that when we go somewhere we do it with security and confidence, and this attitude makes the people who receive you do it with respect and you can control the situation at the moment.

It is not failure that is destroying your confidence, it is not trying again ...

Not being persevering about what you want and not trying again allows you to be afraid and you feel insecure to achieve it.

For example:
When a tennis player makes a double fault it is because he tries twice to put an ace, it does not matter if he fails once, he tries again. Likewise, baseball players with the largest home run records (best plays) also have the highest records of strikeouts (worst plays).

But, negative thoughts are not the only reason that explains your lack of confidence.

2- Your expectations are pessimistic.

My son is the protagonist of this attitude, he assumes that it would have a tragic end and he is surprised that it was not so.

It seems normal to have the expectation that everything will go wrong, because only then will you not be disappointed if it fails and you will be pleasantly surprised if you succeed.

Research suggests that pessimism minimizes your performance. Creating that you effectively achieve bad results. When you think something is going to go wrong, your performance decreases, and it goes wrong. Sometimes we say that negative energies are attracted, but, really, that is, your performance goes down and you do not fight anymore to achieve it.

We not only think about insecurity (fear), but we also express it.
Insecurity is expressed in your daily life without realizing it.
Nonverbal language is extremely important in daily life.

Imagine that you just won a race. Surely your arms will be fully extended trying to occupy more space and demonstrate the great triumph achieved.

Or, on the contrary, imagine that you are in a meeting with the bored of your boss. Your position shows that you do not want to be there. You are hunched over in your chair and with your arms crossed.

Your lack of confidence, not only feels but is also seen and demonstrated.

This nonverbal language has influence even where we least expect it.

I WILL GIVE YOU A VERY SIMPLE STEP TO START GETTING TRUST IN YOURSELF.

Soucer