DEALING WITH DEBT

DEBT can strain or even destroy a family. For example, researcher Jeffrey Dew found that couples in debt spend less time together, have more fights, and are less happy. Compared with other topics, arguments about debt and finances last longer, generate more yelling and hitting, and are more likely to carry over into other issues. It is no surprise, then, that the leading cause of divorce in the United States is disagreements about money.

Excessive debt also brings health risks, such as insomnia, headaches, stomachaches, heart attacks, and depression. A wife named Marta relates: “My husband, Luís, was so depressed about our debt that he slept most of the day. The man I had always relied on had become helpless.” For some, the stress becomes unbearable. For example, BBC News reported that a wife in southeastern India committed suicide after falling behind on payments for loans totaling the equivalent of $840 (U.S.). She had borrowed the money to pay for her children’s medical treatment.

What if your family is under stress because of debt? Let us consider some common challenges that couples face in dealing with debt and look at Bible principles that can help you to meet them.

CHALLENGE 1: We blame each other.
“I accused my wife of wasteful spending,” admits Lukasz, “while she complained that we would have enough money if I had a job that provided year-round work.” How can a couple keep debts from driving them apart?

A key to success: Work together against debt.
It will not help matters if you vent anger on your mate​—even if you had no part in incurring the debt. Now, perhaps more than ever, the Bible’s counsel at Ephesians 4:31 applies: “Let all malicious bitterness and anger and wrath and screaming and abusive speech be taken away from you along with all badness.”

Fight the debt, not each other. A husband named Stephanos describes how he and his wife worked together: “We viewed our debt as a mutual enemy.” Such cooperation is in harmony with Proverbs 13:10, which says: “By presumptuousness one only causes a struggle, but with those consulting together there is wisdom.” Rather than presumptuously trying to solve things on your own, talk candidly about financial problems and then act unitedly.

Your children can join in the effort. A father named Edgardo, in Argentina, describes his family’s experience: “My young son wanted a new bicycle, but we explained to him why we couldn’t afford it. Instead, we gave him a bike that had belonged to his grandfather, and he enjoyed riding it very much. I learned the value of working together as a family.”

TRY THIS: Arrange a time to talk openly and calmly about your debt. Acknowledge any mistakes you may have made. Rather than dwelling on the past, though, try to agree on principles that will guide your future financial decisions.​—Psalm 37:21; Luke 12:15.