A very close friend of mine, whom I considered a brother, had bought me a book called “The Rites of Odin” by Ed Fitch. He had picked up on my curiosity concerning the spiritual ways of my European ancestors. I was thrilled to receive this book. It was one of the first that I had seen in regards to Teutonic religious practice. It was written from a New Age perspective and was poorly researched, but I didn’t know that at the time. However, it was a starting point. It had enough information to draw me in and help me find the “way of the gods”. It felt real and made sense to me. It was as if the gods had been waiting for me to return to them; to show me who I am and where I come from. There was a sense of peace in discovering the gods of my ancient ancestors. I felt reconnected.
My friend was happy to have provided the book. He was venturing out of theistic Satanism as well and moving more towards Wicca. Our chosen paths would often put us at odds. Even before my experience with the true God, he and I would not see eye to eye on many things outside of the Occult. I could not accept the unauthentic practices of Wicca and I would attack him for using the names of my gods in his rituals. Wicca is very New Age while Heathenism/Asatru tends to be more conservative with a serious take on keeping things as authentic as possible. Our situation was not an isolated case. It had gotten so serious that it was addressed with an article called “The Pentagram and the Hammer”. However, that is neither here nor there.
What matters is that I took it very serious. The way of the gods was not some passing phase or spiritual playground to dabble in for me. I had made it personal. My condition depended not on simply serving the gods alone, but on how I was viewed by my ancestors. The reader may be wondering how all this could happen so quickly. How can someone go from believing in Satan, totally bypass YHWH, and be drawn into paganism in search of spiritual enlightenment? This question was asked of me a while back. Allow me to share it here along with my answer:
Did you ever believe in the God of the bible? I mean, if you believed in Satan, surely you believed in God/YHWH.
It’s weird, because even though I did believe in a biblical adversary and in demons. I rejected YHWH and His Messiah outright. It was as if I never put the puzzle pieces together. I accepted the existence of Lucifer over the existence of YHWH. Honestly, my desire was never to worship anything. I believed that I could use Satan and demons for my purposes in the occult. I was an Occultist. That’s pretty much what it boils down to. However, the deeper I got into the occult the more hate I began to develop for the Bible and anything to do with it. Eventually, that hatred turned me totally against the existence of even Satan. I know that sounds strange, considering the spirit behind the occult, but I didn’t see it that way. The occult eventually led me into more new age/pagan beliefs. It seemed like the mature path to take. I could still contact the spirit realm, but without all the Satanic stuff. Satanism and demonism became childish to me. It began to feel very foreign to me. In fact, if it had anything to do with a monotheistic/Abrahamic world, I rejected it. I remember asking myself, “If Satan is an Abrahamic concept and he is at war with another deity that has nothing to do with me. Then why am I entertaining a Middle Eastern worldview that is foreign to MY European ancestry”? That’s how I became a Pagan. I had become very aware of bloodlines and how I was tied to those bloodlines in the spirit. I believed that by reconnecting with the ways of my ancestors was the only real way to achieve true spiritual enlightenment.
And there you have it. It was easy to make the transition from the occult to Germanic paganism. Getting in touch, spiritually, to one’s ancestry is a very powerful thing. It takes you on a journey of discovery and “enlightenment” that Luciferianism or theistic Satanism does not do. Not only are you introduced to your ancient ancestors, but you are introduced to their religious practices. Their gods are there to meet you and welcome you into their world. It feels “right” and you are certain of your path…very certain.
Approaching a Germanic Pagan is not an easy task. Not saying that they are not approachable, but if you believe that they’re eager to receive your biblical message, you have made a huge mistake. They are very certain of their path and convincing them that the gods are demonic or their beliefs are not authentic will bring immediate rebuke. Unlike Wiccans, the Heathen have “sacred” texts and archaeology to back up their claims. They can connect dots and reveal to you a foundation for their traditions and beliefs. They have gods that speak and reveal themselves in different ways. They are not merely crafted out of wood and stone. They have a cosmology and intricate calendar. It is not only a natural religion, but a very supernatural one as well. They believe in the spirit realm and often communicate with it for guidance and direction. It is not fantasy to them. It is very real to them as it was very real to me.
Again, allow me to share with you some questions that were asked of me and my response. Keep in mind that my intent was not to get too detailed. So, to those Heathens who may be reading this, splitting hairs over what I had written will be of no use.
What about Paganism? Some would say it’s all Satanism. What do you say?
Looking at it from where I am now, I would have to say that they are right and wrong. Let me explain. They are right in the sense that the same deceiving spirit that’s behind Satanism is the same spirit behind Paganism. That’s true. If you want to split hairs that “spirit” is also behind addictions, murder, pornography, homosexuality, transgenderism, and adultery. However, Paganism is not Satanism. Without getting into great detail, Satanism can be broken down into two types; theistic and atheistic. Theistic Satanism views Satan (the adversary/enemy of YHWH) as a supernatural deity. Satan, in the theistic view, can be worshipped and petitioned. Many of them, those who practice the occult, believe that he can influence and manipulate the natural environment. Occultists believe Lucifer to be the bringer of knowledge and that YHWH is actually the evil “god” who kept man from gaining knowledge. In other words, Satan is the good guy. He is the one who removes boundaries and frees us from all limitations. Aleister Crowley summed it up when he states, “Do what thou wilt is the whole of the law…” Do what thou wilt? It means if you want it then get it. If you are not allowed to have it then take it. By giving yourself over to this “law”, nothing is beyond your reach, there are no limits, and no boundaries. That brings us into atheistic Satanism. They don’t believe that Satan is a deity. In fact, they don’t believe in anything spiritual or supernatural. They merely follow the character of Satan. Satan the rebel; Satan the anarchist; Satan the self-righteous…you get the picture. Basically, “do what thou wilt”. As strange as it is, they tend to lean on science as their religion. Of course, they wouldn’t call it that, but scientism is a religion. Anyway, getting back on track, Paganism is a wee bit more complicated than that. I will say this; the occult covers all bases. The occult is in Satanism, Paganism, New Age, Eastern mysticism, Freemasonry, Rosicrucianism, Gnosticism, and even some so-called Christian organizations like the Mormons. So, if someone is looking for a cut and dry answer, it’s going to require more than I am able to give at this moment.
Earlier you had said that Paganism is not Satanism. Without getting into great detail, can you elaborate a bit?
Like I had said earlier, “If you are looking for a cut and dry answer, it’s going to require more than I am able to give”. However, the simplest explanation of Paganism is the belief in more than one deity or god. It’s not only the worship of many gods, but it’s also the worship of the spirits of ones’ ancestors. Paganism comes in many forms going back to the most ancient of times, but they are all based on the same concepts. Paganism is very cultural and ethnic. It exists deep within the folk of a certain region or territory. I believed, as do a majority of modern-pagans, that the religious traditions of the Pagan cultures are pre-Christian. While this may be true as far as Christianity. It’s not true as far as the whole Biblical narrative. That’s what I know now. I was too near-sighted to see it any other way back then. Of course, if the ancient ways are older than Christianity (when pagans think of Christianity it typically means the whole Abrahamic religion) then Paganism is more established and trustworthy. It speaks to you, because it comes from those who are responsible for your genetic makeup. As for me, I found spiritual enlightenment within the Germanic/Celtic ancestral groupings. Anything considered Abrahamic is rejected in real Paganism, especially in Heathenism.
You mentioned Heathenism. Isn’t that another term for Paganism?
Heathenism is a religion that falls under the banner of Paganism. Not sure how deep in detail I should go, but it is a pretty complex system of beliefs. Heathenism is a subgroup of Paganism that has subgroupings of its own. And like Christianity, there are varying doctrines and “truths” that are shared among the groups. One thing that separates Heathenism from other systems within Paganism, is that Heathens do not accept the label of neopagan. Neo-Paganism is a subgroup that Heathenism does not fall under. The branches of Paganism spread far and wide. It can become confusing for those outside of Paganism. To be honest, it can be confusing for Pagans as well. So, instead of looking for cohesion or common ground, the subgroupings of Paganism tend to stick to their own branch and typically see it as “to each his own”. So, getting back to the question, Heathenism is not another term for Paganism. Heathenism falls within Paganism.
Does Heathenism accept Satanism?
No. Satanism is not accepted. In fact, any form of Satanism is rejected. If you were to ask me that as a Heathen, I would have laughed at you. I would have told you that Satan is a Middle Eastern concept that has nothing to do with my Germanic and Celtic Ancestors; that anything monotheistic or Abrahamic is best left in the deserts of the Middle East. I would have then continued by telling you that Christianity is a foreign religion with a foreign god that has no place within the cultures of Europe and that Christianity stole much from my ancestors; that the Church is responsible for the death and destruction of many European peoples. So, yeah, Heathens do not accept Satan, believe in Satan, let alone worship a deity by the name of Satan or Lucifer. If it’s biblical then it is rejected. Period.
As a Pagan, more specifically as a Heathen, what groups did you belong to, if any?
I first associated myself with “The Ring of Troth”, which was founded in 1987 by former Asatru Free Assembly members Edred Thorsson (Stephen E. Flowers) and James Chisholm. I had a subscription to their quarterly journal called Idunna and had a book titled “A Book of Troth”. Though “A Book of Troth” was not the only publication of its’ kind, what made it different was its’ content. It was like a “bible” of sorts for followers of the Nordic gods. It is one of those “must have” books for Germanic Pagans. After cutting my teeth with “The Troth”, I began to feed on all things Asatru and then eventually ventured over to the Anglo-Saxon Heathenry table. By the time I found my way to Anglo-Saxon Heathenry, I had an extensive library, which included journals and other publications. I joined the Theodish Rice, which was a very conservative and “down to earth” group that prided itself on keeping things as authentic as possible. I found it to be the most organic and authentic Heathen organization out there. I had become well versed in Heathen cosmology and in reading Runes. The Occultist inside of me was drawn to the more supernatural side of the “faith”. Galdr and Siedhr were the two practices that dealt with contact with the “other-side” and magic. Without getting into great detail, galdorcraeft and seidhring is witchcraft, which dealt specifically with singing or shouting the runes and invoking the gods or spirits. I was a dedicated due paying member of the Theodish Rice for quite some time and remained so until my experience with the true God.
How serious were you with your Pagan beliefs?
I was very serious. I prayed to the gods. I talked to them and truly desired their guidance. I studied and researched “the way of the gods” constantly. I corresponded with Heathen scholars and researchers all the time. I was not a dabbler. It was not a passing phase or some recreation. The amount of documentation, i.e., books, letters, essays, thesis’, booklets, pamphlets, etc. I had was extensive. My intention was to grow in the “faith”; to be known as an apologist and well-respected member of a Kindred. In fact, I had just joined another organization and had plans on visiting with an active Kindred in New Orleans, Louisiana right before my experience with the true God. I would read the Norse myths to my sons at bedtime and talk to them about the gods and goddesses. I could answer their questions normally without hesitation. Their young minds were open and curious. They began to believe in what “daddy” believed in. Looking back on it, I am so thankful that YHWH intervened when HE did. Of course, after my encounter with the true God, I had a lot of explaining to do. I was also able to articulate and rationalize very well with people. I could attack their beliefs and traditions in such a way to where they were oblivious to it. There are a lot of things I know about Christianity’s traditions that are very Pagan. If need be, I can elaborate on that a bit later, but for now it’s not necessary. So, anyway, yes, I was very serious about Heathenism.
For close to 15 years I devoted myself to the “way of the gods”. I was very certain of myself and felt very confident that the path I walked was the “right” one. I had no intention of ever turning back. I carried my “faith” with me into the military, knowing that if I were to meet my end on the battlefield that the gods would receive me into Valhalla. My wife accepted my practices. My sons were learning of the gods. I had nothing to do with the Hebraic God. If it was biblical, it was rejected. Christians were not allowed to discuss their faith in my home or around my children. I took great offense in the mention of Jesus. I knew nothing of the Word of God and wanted nothing to do with it. Anytime a Christian would approach me with the gospel, my rebuke was quick and sharp. I had my way and they had theirs.
That is until my encounter with the true GOD…
Next: The Obvious Choice